ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


The Obnoxious Cabbie

Topic: adult

The Obnoxious Cabbie

One day a successful businessman decides he's spending too much time working, and not enough time enjoying himself or getting to meet women. So, being the decisive chap that he is, he actually logs off early one evening, parks his car up for the night and goes to a fairly exclusive club.

Sitting at the bar scoping the joint out, he notices a very attractive woman who seems to be on her own, so he asks her if she'd like to dance, which she accepts. One thing leads to another, so after dancing, drinking and laughing the night away, they end up back at her place where the real fun begins, and all conversation stops as the lights are lowered, soft music caresses the mood, love is in the air and sex is in bed, and the kitchen, and on the balcony, and ... 4.30am arrives, and remembering he had a business meeting at 9.30am, he bids his fond farewells and begins making his way home.

Still dressed in his expensive suit, he gets caught in a heavy downpour of rain, so he hails the first taxi cab he sees. The taxi driver stops and our man in question leans down to speak to the cabbie,

"How much is it from here to Croydon?" he asks innocently.

"$85 quid" answers the cabbie.

The man checks his wallet, only to discover he is $20 shy of the full fare.

"I'll tell you what", he tries, "It's cold and wet, and the chances of you getting another fare at this time of the morning is remote, so why don't you drive me home and I'll give you the $65 I have on me. Would that be okay?".

The cabbie scowled menacingly and snarls, "I said it's $85 quid, so either you've got the money or you can piss off".

The man is quite rightly offended by the cabbies attitude, but since he looks like he cuts his toenails with a buzzsaw, he decided he'd have to walk home through the rain, but all along the way he was seething. Arriving home, he has a hot shower and gets one hours sleep before having to get up again and go to work, slightly disheveled, but still committed to work.

A week passes, and the incident is almost forgotten about, as our executive finishes securing a deal with an important client, checks out of his hotel and walks out to the lobby to get a taxi back to the office. Outside the hotel, there are three taxi's waiting for customers, and our man see's the obnoxious git who left him 'High & Wet' the week before, sitting in the third taxi along.

Knowing the man was a walking bunch of muscles, he knew his revenge would need to be one of tactful inventiveness, so walking to the first cab, he asks, "How much from here to Croydon driver?".

"$85 quid gouverner", was the quick reply.

"Okay" agrees our man, "But I'll tell you what. You take me to Croydon, but I'll pay you $200 pounds if you give me a blow job when we get there".

The driver of the first cab is inflamed at the suggestion and threatens to get out of the cab and smash his face in, so the man offers his reassurances that it was only a suggestion, and moves along to the second cab.

"How much from here to Croydon driver?".

"$85 quid gov", was the reply.

Making cabbie two the same offer as number one, he was met with a barrage of verbal abuse, and told where to go, so offering more calming apologies he moves along to the Neanderthal from the previous week, and is pleased when he isn't recognized.

"How much from here to Croydon driver?" he asks once again

"$85 quid" our barbaric friend states flatly

"Okay," states our man, and jumps into the back of the cab. As the cab pulls slowly into the main stream of traffic, our man leans forward and licking his lips, casts a contented look at the other two drivers and gives them a big thumbs up!

ALPHA v0.3