ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


I'M Glad I'M A Woman

Topic: adult

I'm Glad I'm a Woman

I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am I don't live off of Budweiser, beernuts, and Spam I don't brag to my buddies about my erections I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown And I know how to put the damned toiled seat down!

I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt My belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut And I don't go around "readjusting" my crotch Or yell like Tarzan when my headboard gets a notch I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind I'm a woman, you see, I'm just not that kind!

I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I can sing: I don't have body hair like shag carpeting It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back When I lean over, you don't see 3 inches of my crack And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome Or have a few hairs pulled over the side I'm a woman you see, I've got far too much pride!

And I honestly think its a privilege for me To have these two boobs, and to squat when I pee I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal I won't tell you my wife just does not understand And stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band Or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep Then screw you, roll over, and fall sound asleep!

Yes I'm glad I'm a woman, a woman you see You can forget all about that penis envy I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks Don't join the hair club for men, or think with my dick I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful its true I'm so glad I'm a woman, and not a man like you!

ALPHA v0.3