ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


The Newly Revised Guide To The Bases

Topic: adult

The Newly Revised Guide to the Bases

--On Deck- Having plans for a date

--Strike-Out- Duh!!

--Walk- Kissing

--Bunt- Masturbation

--Single- Tongue kissing

--Double- Breasts/chest touched, some clothes off, lots of grabbing and feels

--Triple- Most of the clothes off, genital contact, mutual masturbation

--Inside the park home run- Oral Sex

--Home Run- SEX!!!

--Ground Rule Double- Would have sex, but no condom

--Error- Condom breaks during sex

--Banned for life for gambling- Sex without condom

--Hall of Fame- Marriage

Now that we've got the basics, let's introduce some terms to better explain all the things that can happen now a days.

--Balk- Premature ejaculation

--Pine Tar- KY jelly

--Relief pitcher- Vibrator

--Rain Delay- parents/roommate return home unexpectedly

--Box Seats- Waterbed

--Seventh Inning Stretch- Unusual positions

--Dead Ball- Blue balls / passion cramps

--Florida Snow- Cocaine (I know you don't get it...tough.)

--Rookie- Virgin

--Minor Leagues- Under 18

--Loaded Bases- Manage a trois

--Grand Slam- Sex three times in twelve hours

--Foul tip- Venereal Disease

--Three up and three down- impotency

--"All you"- Make the first move

--Batting Glove- Sexual aide

Now that we have the definitions, lets quickly contrast the old confusion with our current clarity.

OLD WAY- we um got to third base i guess and then we um got like past third base, but not to home plate. i really like her.

NEW WAY- first, there was a triple, then we got an inside the park home run, and started thinking, it's hall of fame time.

NEW WAY- So there i was with the bases loaded and nobody out, when i balked during the seventh inning stretch and i had to call in a relief pitcher.

ALPHA v0.3