ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

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The Piano Playing Bum ---------------------

Topic: adult

The Piano Playing Bum ---------------------

A nightclub owner is in need of a piano player for his club. He places an advertisement in the local papers, but is pretty disappointed in the applicants. As he is looking over the resumes one afternoon, in walks a seedy-looking, foul-smelling bum who mumbles, "I came to see about the job for the f*cking piano player".

The club owner feels he has nothing to lose and gives him a tryout. The bum sits down at the piano and plays the most exquisite melody the owner has ever heard. It brings tears to his eyes. The kitchen employees come out to listen and are enraptured. Even a dog rooting through the trash cans in the alley walks in and listens spellbound!

He asks the bum "What was the name of that song, and who wrote it?"

"'I Love You So F*cking Much It Makes Me Sh*t' is the song, and I wrote it. I've got a bunch of them," replies the bum.

The owner cringed at the song's title, but thought to himself "Hell, I can clean this guy up, and we don't HAVE to announce the song titles," and hires him on the spot.

He sends one of the employees out with the bum to get him a tux, a haircut, and a bath and tells him to start that night. That evening, the bum, newly shaven and attired, stumbles out on stage and plays song after beautiful song. The audience is enthralled by the melodies. He is a wild success.

When a break comes, the bum shuffles off to the bathroom. When he comes out, he has forgotten to put his Johnson back in his pants and it is hanging out, in all its glory. The headwaiter stops him and says "Do you know your dick is hanging out and it sure is ugly?"

"Know it? Hell, I wrote that f*cking song!"

ALPHA v0.3