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In The News Today Tony The Tiger Mascot For Frosted Flakes

Topic: barney

In the news today: Tony the Tiger, mascot for Frosted Flakes cereal, went berserk and devoured the Campbell Kids. Sources reveal that one of the Kids had secretly smuggled in a catnip- filled toy and hid it on the set of a new commercial for the cereal. Mid-way through the taping, the catnip scent began to affect Tony, and witnesses say that, "he began purring real loud like and started batting the cereal box, oranges, and toast all over the place. Then he attacked the tablecloth and completely demolished the rest of what was left of our carefully arranged 'balanced breakfast'."

The noise apparently attracted several of the Campbell Kids from their adjoining set, where they were filming a commercial to be aired next month. Accounts vary, but it seems that one of them found the catnip-toy and held it out while saying "here kitty, kitty, kitty." Tony stood up to his full 6'8" height and let loose with what close associates claim was a "friendly roar," frightening the Kids immensely.

They all ran away, heading to their dressing room, and had almost closed the door when the drug-crazed -- and slightly displeased -- Tony caught up to them. Forcing his way in, he pounced upon the Kid holding the toy, scaring him; which caused the other Kids to start attacking the tiger. In the mayhem, the door closed and the Kids were apparently unable to open it as Tony struck back. Eyewitnesses stated that "for two or three minutes, it sounded like a demon from Hell had been loosed. And then it got real quiet." Police would later find that the door had been blocked by a dresser that had been thrown clear across the room.

Zoo officials were called in, and Tony was shot with a tranquilizer dart from the room's skylight. As the now-docile, and rather woozy, tiger was being lead away, he could be heard to be humming to himself, "Mmm-Mmm good. Mmm-Mmm good, that's what Campbell Kids are. Mmm-Mmm good."

ALPHA v0.3