ALPHA v0.3

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The Chicken And The Road ------------------------

Topic: cats-dogs

The Chicken and the Road ------------------------

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side. or Because it was too long to walk around.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Roland Barthes: The chicken wanted to expose the myth of the road.

Ludwig van Beethoven: What? Speak up.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

George Bush: To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.

Caesar: To come, to see, to conquer.

Candide: To cultivate its garden.

Joseph Conrad: Mistah Chicken, he dead.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Bob Dylan: How many roads must one chicken cross?

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Epicurus: For fun.

Zsa Zsa Gabor: It probably crossed to get a better look at my legs, which, thank goodness, are good, dahling.

Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail, the chicken would be lost. The chicken would be lost!

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Martin Luther King: It had a dream.

James Tiberius Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Stan Laurel: I'm sorry, Ollie. It escaped when I opened the run.

Groucho Marx: Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.

Moses: Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.

Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Ronald Reagan: Well, I forget.

Carl Rodgers: Why do _you_ think the chicken crossed the road?

Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain.

William Shakespeare: I don't know why, but methinks I could rattle off a hundred-line soliloquy without much ado.

Mr. T: If you saw me coming, you'd cross the road too!

George Washington: Actually, it crossed the Delaware with me back in 1776. But most history books don't reveal that I bunked with a birdie during the duration.

Mae West: I invited it to come up and see me sometime.

Henny Youngman: Take this chicken... please.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from Colonel Sanders!

Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road? To take over the other side.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Chickens hadn't evolved yet.

Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the Shell station!

Why did the lawyer cross the road? To get to the car accident on the other side.

Why did Jim Morrison cross the road? To break on through to the other side.

ALPHA v0.3