ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


How Dogs Are Like Cars -----------------------

Topic: cats-dogs

How Dogs Are Like Cars: -----------------------

1-They have bad breath.

2-If you park a new one in your living room, it may soil the carpet.

3-Some of the newer models have the charming dog-like habit of getting alarmed at anyone who passes within 100 feet of their parking space waking up everyone in the neighborhood at 2:00 am, until you make it shut up.

4-People give them silly names.

5-Big ones require a lot of space.

6-Fancy, expensive purebreds are more temperamental.

7-If they make funny noises, it means there's trouble.

8-Other people's cars (but never your own) can be a nuisance.

9-They require a lot of attention and expensive maintenance. If you don't give it to them, they will require even more expensive maintenance.

10-You are held legally responsible for what they do.

11-They chase cars.

12-People talk to them even though they don't listen.

13-They have appeared in TV shows and movies in which they were more intelligent and interesting than any of the humans involved.

14-You have to get a license to own one.

15-You can find out where they come from by looking at their tags.

16-Clothing looks silly on them (especially bras).

17-They come with their own internal heating systems that can keep you warm in the winter.

18-There are a lot of blind people using them (your perspective only).

19-Sometimes fluid leakage is a problem.

20-Sentimentality can cause you to buy a lot of expensive toys for them.

21-They cost a lot to feed. (This varies according to breed and size.)

22-They have their own agendas that have nothing to do with yours.

ALPHA v0.3