ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


You Know When You'Ve Been Out Of University Too Long When...

Topic: college

You know when you've been out of University too long when...

Your potted plants stay alive.

Having sex in a single bed is absurd.

You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.

You hear your favourite song in the lift at work.

You carry an umbrella.

You watch the Weather Channel.

Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together and break-up.

You go from 130 days of holidays to 7.

Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as 'dressed up'

You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo.

Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

You don't know what time the kebab shop closes anymore.

Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

You feed your dog Pal instead of McDonalds.

Sleeping on the sofa is a no-no.

You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.

Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.

You go to the chemist for Panadol and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy test kits.

A 2l bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'

You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

Grocery lists are longer than supernoodles, diet coke, pringles

'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going to drink that much again'

Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

You don't get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a bar.

ALPHA v0.3