ALPHA v0.3

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Ethnic Jokes ------------

Topic: ethnic

Ethnic Jokes ------------

Did You Hear About The Pollock That Thought His Wife Was Trying To Kill Him? He Found Polish Remover In The Medicine Cabinet.

Did You Hear That Half Of Poland Moved To Italy? They Raised The I.Q. Of Both Countries!

What Are The Two Biggest Lies A Polock Ever Tells? The Check Is In Your Mouth And I Promise Not To Come In Your Mailbox.

What Did Hitler Tell The German Army Before They Marched Into Poland? "Don't Shit In The Streets, We're Trying To Starve Them."

What Do They Call A Black Man With A White Penis? A Polish Coal Miner Who's Been Home For Lunch.

What Do You Call A Polock With A $10,000 Hat? The Pope.

What's Black, Charred, And Hangs From The Chandelier? A Polish Electrician

Why Are Rectal Thermometers Illegal In Poland? Because They Cause Too Much Brain Damage.

Why Did The Polack Give His Wife A Wig For Christmas? His Neighbor Told Him She Was Getting Balled Every Day.

Why Did The Polack Keep Empty Beer Cans In The Refrigerator? For His Friends Who Didn't Drink.

Why Did The Polack Throw Away The Toilet Brush? He Went Back To Using Paper.

Why Did The Stadium In Warsaw Get Torn Down? Everywhere You Sit, You Sit Behind A Pole.

Why Shouldn't You Take Any Shit From A Polack? Because It Might Be His Lunch!

Have You Heard About The Mexican 500 Car Race? The First Car To Start Wins.

How Are Black Children Taught To Put On Their Underwear? Brown In The Back, Yellow Up Front.

How Can You Tell A Polock Cock Sucker? He's The One Spitting Feathers.

How Can You Tell A Polish Firing Squad? They Stand In A Circle.

How Come Polish People Only Smell On One Side? They Can Never Find "Left Guard" In The Supermarket.

How Do You Confuse A Polock? Give Him Three Shovels And Tell Him To Take His Pick.

What Do You Get When You Cross A Nigger And A Squirrel? A Tree Full Of Hubcaps.

What Do You Get When You Cross A Polock And An Ape. A Retarded Ape.

What Do You Say To A Nigger In A Three-Piece Suit? Will The Defendant Please Rise!

What Is Long And Hard That A Polish Bride Gets On Her Wedding Night? A New Last Name.

Where Do The Polocks Keep Their Armies? Up Their Sleevies.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new car? Neither has he!

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He doesn't know he's black.

How Do You Know You've Moved Into A Black Neighborhood? You Take Your Kid To School And A Guy In A Suit Says, "I Be Da Principal".

How Do You Ruin A Polock Party? Flush The Punch Bowl.

How Do You Sink A Polock Battleship? Put It In Water.

How Do You Sink A Polock Submarine? Knock On The Hatch!

How Does A Polock Count? "1, 2, 3, Another, Another, Another...."

Why did the Polock wear only one boot? The weather forecast was for one foot of snow.

What did they do in Poland when a manure silo fell over? Called in troops to shoot the looters.

How does a Polock fan himself? He holds his hand still and waves his face in front of it.

Why Don't Niggers Play Hide And Seek? Because No-One Would Look For Them.

Do you know why Polocks don't have sex? They wait for the swelling to go down.

Why do blacks wear platform shoes? To stop their knuckles from dragging on the ground.

What's the brown stuff between elephants toes? Slow moving natives.

What do you get if you cross a nigger with a gorilla? A dumb gorilla.

Why do Brixton coons have such small steering wheels? So they can drive with handcuffs on.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

Why don't Italians have freckles? They slide off.

Why don't Nigger's drive convertibles? Their lips would blow about in the wind and slap them to death.

How many blacks does it take to pave a driveway? Depends how thin you slice them.

How does God make Puerto Ricans? He sandblasts Nigger's.

Why did God give Nigger's rhythm? Because he fucked up their hair.

Did you hear about the Polish jigsaw puzzle? It had one piece.

Did you hear about the Polish fox in a trap? It chewed off three of its legs and was still caught.

Did you hear about the Polish woman who tried to get an abortion because she didn't think the baby was hers?

If Jesus wasn't born in Mexico, then why does he have a Mexican name?

What do you call a Puerto Rican on a bike? A Thief

What do you do when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your T.V. floating around the room? Turn on the lights and shoot the nigger!

Two Poles go bear hunting as they are driving down the road they see a sign that says " BEAR LEFT ". So they turned around and went home.

What is the difference between a Jewish radial tire and a regular radial tire? The Jewish tire will stop on a dime and pick it up.

How do you know when a Jewish wife is excited in bed? She puts her book down.

What is the other way to tell if a Jewish wife is excited in bed? She says "Mom, I have to hang up now".

What does a cheerleader wife say in bed? "HARDER! HARDER!" What does a WASP wife say in bed? "FASTER! FASTER!" What does a Jewish wife say in bed? "Blue. I think I'll paint the ceiling blue."

A farmer is out in his field. A space ship lands beside him and a little green man, about four feet tall gets out. The little green man asks, "Mr. Farmer, do you have any cows on your farm?" Farmer sez, "Yep. Twenty head." LGM asks, "Would you sell them for one million dollars?" Farmer sez, "Take 'em!" The little green man (LGM) whistles over his shoulder and a little cow, about the size of a fox terrier, gets out of the space ship and eat all the other cows. LGM asks, "Do you have any horses?" Farmer sez, Nine -- and they're yours for a million bucks." LGM says, "Sold!" He whistles over his shoulder and a little horse, about the size of a fox terrier, gets out of the space ship and eats all the other horses. The LGM starts to get back into his space ship and the farmer sez, "Say stranger, yew wouldn't happen to have a hungry little nigger in thar, would ya?"

What is the difference between white fairy tales and black fairy tales? White fairy tales start out, "Once upon a time," and black fairy tales start out, "You motherfuckers ain't gonna believe this shit, but...."

A black man was talking to a white man, "When I was born, I was black, when I grow up I'll be black, when I'm sick, I'm black, when I go out in the sun, I'm black, when I die, I'll be black. But you; when your born you're pink, when your grown up you're white, when your sick you're green, when you're in the sun you turn red, when you're cold you're blue, when you die you're purple. You've got a lot of fucking nerve to call me colored!

President Reagan was flying back to the U.S. after special talks with Cuban leaders. As his helicopter passed over the Florida Everglades, he spotted two white men in a speedboat dragging a black man behind them on a long rope. Reagan asked the pilot to bring the chopper down along side the boat. Once in hearing range, Reagan turned on the microphone and yelled, "I sure do think it's wonderful of you two boys to take a black man water-skiing. It's refreshing to see that there isn't any prejudice in Florida." As the helicopter flew off, one of the redneck boaters turned to the other and said, "He may be president of the whole fucking country, but he sure don't know shit about huntin' alligators."

Before his daring escape from prison, an infamous black criminal had been photographed from four different angles. The FBI sent copies of the pictures to sheriffs and police chiefs all across the land, with orders to notify Washington the minute an arrest was made. The next day, the Bureau received a teletyped reply from the sheriff of Bainbridge, Georgia. "PICTURES RECEIVED. ALL FOUR NIGGERS SHOT DEAD WHILE RESISTING ARREST."

What is the definition of a JAP (Jewish American Princess)? A girl who thinks cooking and fucking are two cities in China.

What is a JAP's (Jewish American Princess) favorite wine? "I wanna go to Miami"

Q: What has eight legs and goes "Ho dee dough," "Ho dee dough?" A: Four blacks running toward an elevator.

Q: What did God say when he created the first black man? A: "Oops, burned this one!"

How was the Grand Canyon created? A Jew dropped a nickle down a Gopher hole!

Why are there so many guys named Tony in New York City? Before they leave Italy the officials stamp "TO NY" on their foreheads.

The Jewish limousine? Has a pay phone in the back seat...

The Jewish Santa Claus? Comes down your chimney and says "Oy Veh! Wouldja like to buy some toys, cheap?"

Didja hear about the great Jewish conqueror? Gengis Cohen...

Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy's father presents him with a new pistol. On the other side of town, at his bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day at school, the two boys are showing each other what they got. They each liked what the other one got, so, they traded. That night, when the Italian boy is at home, his father sees him looking at the watch. "Where did you getta thatta watch?" asks the man. The boy explains that he and Sammy had traded. The father blows his top. "Whatta you? Stupidda boy? Whatsa matta you!" "Somma day, you maybe gonna getta married. Then maybe somma day you gonna comma home and finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then? Looka atta you watch and say, `How longa you gonna be?'"

A little jew boy gets born without eyelids. Mother asks the doc 'is there any cure for that? ' 'Oh yes' replies the surgeon 'what we take off the bottom we will simply add to the top.' 'But won't that make him cock-eyed? ' Asked the mother. 'No' said the surgeon 'but it might give him some foresight.'

What's the definition of a queer Jew? A guy who likes girls more than money.

Why did the Jewish man divorce his wife and get a dog? The license was cheaper, the dog didn't have a mother, and it already had a fur coat.

What's the point of jewish football? To get the quarter back.

A Pole was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositories. A week later the Pole complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results. After the examination the doctor could find no other problems. "Have you been taking them regularly?" the doctor asked. "What do you think I've been doing," the Pole said, "shoving them up my ass?"

A customs agent stopped an old Jewish man who had just emigrated to Israel and asked him to open his 2 suitcases. And in the first one he found over a million dollars in 1 dollar bills. "Excuse me, sir," he asked the old gentleman, "where did you get all this money?" "Vell, I'll tell you," the old man began, "For many years, I traveled all around America and I stopped at all of the public rest rooms in all the major cities; I vent to New York, then I vent to Chicago, then I vent to San Francisco. I vent into all the stalls vhere the men were spritzing and I say, 'Give me a dollar for Israel or I'll cut your testicles vit my knife'. "That's quite a story," the customs agent said, "What's in the 2nd suitcase?" "Vell, you know," said the old jew, shaking his head, "Not everyone likes to give..."

ALPHA v0.3