ALPHA v0.3

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How To Tell If A Truck Is Company Owned

Topic: g-rated


It's easy, company trucks are different from personal

trucks, in these ways:

o Company trucks travel faster in all gears.

o They accelerate much faster than personal trucks, leaving tire marks on the pavement.

o They enjoy a much shorter braking distance, leaving more tire marks.

o They can take bumps at twice the speed of private trucks.

o Company trucks normally require oil changes at 100,000-mile intervals.

o Their floors are shaped like ash trays, and accommodate milk cartons, Coke bottles, leftover food and wrappers.

o They can be driven a hundred miles or more with the oil pressure light flashing.

o Company trucks are not designed to be wash, waxed or retain hub caps.

o They are adapted to allow the transmission to be shifted into reverse while going forward at twenty miles per hour.

o Their tire walls are designed for bumping into and going over curbs.

o Company trucks are always used to jump start private vehicles or give them a push.

o Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by turning the radio volume up.

o Company trucks are always used to go after lunch and other personal needs during work hours.

o All company trucks have many dents in their body inflected by a mysterious person called "Not Me."

ALPHA v0.3