ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


And Now A Letter From Santa.

Topic: holidays

And now, a letter from Santa.

Dear [put name here],

I recently got your Christmas list, but there's a few problems with it. I'd like to review them with you, if I could...

Firstly, the twelve drummers drumming are having a bit of a spat with the eleven pipers piping -- so much so, that they've completely ruined my toy shop.

The ten lords a-leaping have knocked up the eight maids a-milking, and the nine ladies dancing all got VD.

I'm up to my ass in bird shit from the seven swans a-swimming, six geese a-laying, four colly birds, three french hens, two turtle doves, and that damn partridge.

The five golden rings turned my fingers green.

To top it all off, Mrs. Clause is going through menopause, my reindeer are in heat, my dwarfs have filed a petition with the ACLU for gay rights, and I have your Christmas scheduled for February.

Merry freaking Christmas, Santa

ALPHA v0.3