ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


The Ladys Day In Court

Topic: lawyer

The Ladys Day In Court

One evening, after attending the theater, two gentlemen were walking down the avenue when they observed a rather well dressed and attractive young lady walking just ahead of them. One of them turned to the other and remarked, "I'd give $50.00 to spend the night with that woman". To their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark and turning around she said, "I'll take you up on that". She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice, so after bidding his companion good night, the man accompanied the lady to her apartment, where they immediately went to bed.

The following morning the man presented her with $25.00, as he prepared to leave. She demanded the rest of the money, stating, "If you don't pay I'll sue you for it." He laughed, saying "I'd like to see you get it on those grounds".

The next day he was surprised when he received a summons ordering his presence in court as Defendant in a Law Suit. He hurried to his lawyer, and explained the details of the case. His Lawyer said, "She can't possibly get a judgement against you on such grounds, but it will be interesting to see how her case will be presented."

After the usual preliminaries, the lady's Lawyer addressed the court as follows: "Your Honor, my client, this lady here is the owner of a piece of property, a garden spot surrounded by a profuse growth of shrubbery which property she agreed to rent to the Defendant for the specified length of time, for the sum of $50.00. The Defendant took possession of the property, used it extensively for the purpose for which it was rented and upon evacuating the premises he paid only $25.00, one half of the amount agreed upon. The rent was not excessive since it is restricted property, and we ask judgement to be granted against the Defendant to assure payment of the balance."

The Defendant's Lawyer was impressed and amused at the way his opponent had presented the case. His Defense, therefore was somewhat altered from the way the originally planned to present it. "Your Honor", he said, "my client agrees that the young lady has a fine piece of property, that he did rent such property for a time and a degree of pleasure was derived from the transaction. However, my client found a well on the property around which he placed his own stones, sunk a shaft and erected a pump, all labor being performed personally by him. We claim these improvements to the property were sufficient to offset the unpaid amount, and that the Plaintiff was adequately compensated for the rental of said property. We, therefore, ask that judgement be not granted."

The young lady's Lawyer's comeback was thus: "Your Honor, my client agrees that the Defendant did find a well on her property and that he did make improvements such as my Opponent has described. However, had the Defendant not known the well existed, he would never have rented the property. Also upon evacuating premises the defendant removed the stones, pulled out the shaft, and took the pump with him. In doing so, he not only dragged his equipment through the shrubbery, but left the hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy making it easily accessible to little children. We therefore, ask judgement be granted."

And she won.

ALPHA v0.3