ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


Why Bicycles Are Better Than Men!

Topic: men-women


Bicycles don't work late.

Your Bicycle stays as clean as you want it to.

Bicycles don't have parents or kids.

Bicycles don't get sick.

Bicycles don't get overweight, except as per your convenience.

If your Bicycle goes flat, you can fix it.

If your Bicycle is too loose, you can tighten it.

You can check out the guy who works on your Bicycle.

If you say bad things to your Bicycle, you don't have to apologize before you ride it again.

Your Bicycle always has time for you.

Bicycles don't complain and don't ride away from you when the road gets rough.

Bicycles don't watch TV.

Bicycles don't shave.

Bicycles don't snore.

Bicycles don't leave a mess in the kitchen or bathroom.

Bicycles are better protection in a bad neighborhood.

If you don't like the size of your bicycle you can get a new one.

You can try out as many bikes as you like before you get your own.

You don't have to feed your bicycle.

Bicycles never argue, you are always right.

Bicycles never wake you up in the middle of the night, for any reason.

Bicycles never try to show you off to their friends.

Bicycles don't come home drunk after a night out with its buddies.

Bicycles don't sneak around with other bicycles.

Bicycles don't care what you look like or what your age is.

Bicycles don't care and don't comment about what you spend your money on.

Bicycles don't care if you have to work late.

When you go riding, your bicycle doesn't care if other bicycles are bigger or better.

Bicycles don't care about their performance.

Bicycles don't get you pregnant.

Bicycles don't have mothers.

When you've finished a ride, you can get off.

You don't have to praise a bike after a ride.

Bicycles don't sulk.

Bicycles don't bore you.

Bicycles don't abandon you at gatherings for more interesting riders.

Bicycles don't have to prove anything.

Bicycles don't try to change you once you've bought them.

Bicycles don't get jealous of your male colleagues.

Bicycles never interrogate you.

Bicycles don't leave smelly inner tubes lying around on the floor.

Second hand bikes don't brag about previous owners.

Second hand bikes don't go to see previous owners for a ride when you're out of town.

You don't have to explain to a bike if you don't feel like a ride.

Bicycles never put you down.

Bicycles don't complain if you wear "sensible" clothes.

Bicycles don't have egos.

Bicycles don't refuse to ask for directions when they're lost.

Bicycles don't need remote control units.

When you're lost you don't have to argue with it about stopping for directions.

When it's going too fast into a curve you can slow it down.

When you need someone to ride with it's happy to go.

You buy the tools it needs; it doesn't buy tools that never get used.

You don't have to explain to it the need for matching jersey and shorts.

You don't have to continually assure it that its crank length is just right.

You determine the length and frequency of the rides, and you're always on top.

It never finishes before you do.

It doesn't complain about you going out to dinner with your women friends rather than staying at home with it.

You never get helpful suggestions from its mother.

It will ride with you even on Super Bowl Sunday.

It never complains if you put on a few pounds.

When its dysfunctional you know how to get it fixed (and know that it can be fixed).

If you decide to get a new bicycle you don't have to give up more than half of everything you have.

It will never earn more that you do for the same job just because it's a bicycle.

It never spends a "night out with the bikes" and comes home with a strange rash on its saddle.

It will never turn into a beer bellied blob of metal on the couch in front of the TV.

ALPHA v0.3