ALPHA v0.3

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Here Is The Woman'S Guide To What A Man Is Really Saying When He

Topic: men-women

Here is the woman's guide to what a man is really saying when he says...

(in any situation)

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

(in a one-on-one situation)

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

Nice dress! = Nice cleavage

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you.

(in a group)

Anyone want to go eat? = I want to go eat

Who wants to see this movie? = Do we have to see this movie?

Who wants to see this movie? = Doesn't anyone else want to see this movie?

(already trapped in a "relationship")

What's wrong? = I don't see why are you making such a big deal out of this.

What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

What's wrong? = Oh no! Not again!

What's wrong? = WHAT IS IT NOW?

What's wrong? = Quit whining!

What's wrong? = Oh god of all creatures big and small, please don't let it be a long one!

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

Yes dear = Bitch!

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now.

I love you too = Now why did you have to say that, it makes my stomach turn.

Yes, I missed you = How else do you expect me to answer that?

And how I missed you = Bitch!

(answering to her "Did you think that girl was pretty" question)

She was alright = If an elephant came into the room, would I not see it?

Sure, let's go see that play = I don't want to go, but you'll make my life miserable if I don't go.

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair

= I liked it better before.

= 50 bucks and it doesn't look that much different!

= For 50 bucks they should have given you more hair instead of taking some away.

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

Hello, FTD? I'd like to send some flowers to my girlfriend/wife...

= This ought to shut her up for a while at the expense of some humiliation from my male peers.

= This ought to secure sex with her tonight!

(while shopping)

I like that one better = pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay


Will you marry me?

= I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

= I might as well get tax benefits for going through these "talks"

= I don't want to have "talks" over the phone anymore.

ALPHA v0.3