ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


Womans Guide Part 2

Topic: men-women

Womans Guide Part 2

Said: I had a great time last night.

Meant: Who the hell are you?

Said: I've been thinking a lot....

Meant: You looked a hell of a lot better when I was drunk.

Said: I'll give you a call.

Meant: I'd rather have my balls chewed off by a dog with rabies.

Said: I think we should just be friends.

Meant: You're ugly'n a babboon's ass.

Said: Haven't I seen you before?

Meant: Nice ass.

Said: I have something to tell you.

Meant: Get tested.

Said: We've been through so much together

Meant: If it weren't for you, I never would have lost my virginity.

Said: I've learned a lot from you.

Meant: Next!

Said: I need you

Meant: I'm tired of beating off.

Said: I want you back ...

Meant: ...for tonight anyway.

Said: You look great.

Meant: I'm so horny that my roommate is starting to look good.

Said: Do you love me?

Meant: I've done something stupid and you might find out.

Said: Do you *really* love me?

Meant: I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later.

Said: How much do you love me?

Meant: I've done something *really* stupid and someone's on the way to tell you now.

Said: It's just orange juice, try it.

Meant: Three more shots, and she'll have her legs hooked over my ears.

Said: I really want to get to know you better.

Meant: So I can tell my friends about it.

Said: How do I compare with all your other boyfriends?

Meant: How many other guys have you screwed?

Said: The car isn't running right.

Meant: I want a bigger engine and more knobs to play with.

Said: I don't need a road map. I know where we are.

Meant: Holy shit! Where the fuck are we?

Said: The remote's not working.

Meant: Come here and change the channel for me.

Said: I'm hungry.

Meant: Get off your ass and fix supper.

Said: It's your decision.

Meant: I need somebody to blame this shit on.

Said: We need to talk.

Meant: I need to complain.

Said: You're... so feminine.

Meant: I need somebody cheap who'll cook, clean, do the laundry...the windows...

Said: Let's be romantic... turn out the lights.

Meant: If I see all the zits on your ass, I'll never get a boner.

Said: Okay, then go in the bedroom and sulk.

Meant: And hurry up! The game's gonna start.

Said: I'm feeling romantic tonight.

Meant: There's no game on tonight.

ALPHA v0.3