ALPHA v0.3

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Politics Made Simple

Topic: politics


Do you have trouble understanding politics? If so, the following primer (thanks to the Manitoban - University of Manitoba) should clear it up for you. No bull.

Socialism - You have two cows. Give one to your neighbor.

Communism - You have two cows. Give both to the government. The government gives you milk.

Capitalism - You sell one cow and buy a bull.

Facism - You have two cows. Give milk to the government. The government sells it.

Nazism - The government shoots you and takes the cows.

New Dealism - The government shoots one cow, milks the other, and pours the milk down the sink.

Anarchism - Keep the cows. Steal another one. Shoot the government.

Conservatism - Freeze the milk. Embalm the cows.

Liberalism - Give away one cow. Get the government to give you a new cow. Now give them both away.

ALPHA v0.3