ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


Error Messages Guide

Topic: programming

Error Messages Guide

Here is a "quick guide" to what your PC means when it gives you on-screen messages:

Message: Bad command or file name

Meaning: You idiot, you can't even get the file name right. Or else the file doesn't even exist, in which case you are stupid beyond mortal comprehension.

Message: Program requires [a large number] bytes of memory to run.

Meaning: You asshole, it's just like you to waste memory.

Message: [while booting]: HIMEM is testing extended memory.....done.

Meaning: NOMEM is pretending to test your memory that, huge chunks of which are allegedly free, but your computer will not use about 3/4 of, the reason being that it is generally an angry piece of silicon shit.

Message: [When trying to access an online service]: Service is not responding, please wait a few moments and try again.

Meaning: You are an insignificant pimple on our rear, and we don't have to serve you if we don't want to. Go fuck a large member of the Bovine family.

Message: Unidentified error.

Meaning: You need to spend more money on me before I'm going to do anything consistently.

Message: Cannot find file.

Meaning: Are you kidding? I'm a computer. If you think I'm going to waste my time rummaging around for something as insignificant as an extremely important file, you're a real dullard.

ALPHA v0.3