ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


Introducing The Norton Mind Doctor!

Topic: programming

Introducing: The Norton Mind Doctor!

With useful utilities like:

Norton's De-Frag: Thoughts all cluttered up? Can't keep a straight thought? Perhaps your thoughts are fragmented, With Norton, you can reassemble your jumbled thoughts into clean, contiguous thoughts. You can also optimize your thoughts, keeping those you access the most in your short term memory.

Norton's Un-delete. Ever thrown something into your subconscious, and had trouble accessing it again? Have you ever forgotten anything? (Anniversary, Birthdays, wifes name?) Fear not. With Norton, you can recover subconscious memories into your short and long term memory with ease.

Norton's Mind Doctor. If you've ever had memory loss, you know what a traumatic experience it can be. Now, with Mind Doctor, you can retrieve memories lost in dying or dead brain cells, and copy them into fresh brain cells.

Norton's Scrambler. Ever had to remember secret information? Now you can keep that secret information secret. Not even famous psychics can pick your brains. Great for CIA agents!

Norton's Delete. Forget it! That's what you'll do when you use the Norton's delete. For when you really want to forget last night, or that truly awful boyfriend/girlfriend.

Norton's Mind Park. Keep those neurons safe at night. Just park your brain, and your memories will be safe!

Plus so much more!!!

Norton's Mind Refresh, Norton's Mind Calibrator, it's all here for the extremely low price of $99.99. Specify Right Brained, Left Brained or Bi-Brained. Operators are standing by RIGHT NOW! DON'T be a victim! Most brain crashes and nervous breakdowns can be avoided! Coming soon! Nortons full body checkup for WINDOWS!

ALPHA v0.3