ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


You Know You'Re In Arizona When

Topic: regional


- You've signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can't remember the name of the incumbent.

- You notice your car overheating before you drive it.

- You can say Hohokam and people don't think you're laughing funny.

- You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

- You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.

- You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

- You can say 115 degrees without fainting.

- You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees.

- You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.

- You discover, in July, that it only takes two fingers to drive your car.

- You can make sun tea instantly.

- You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.

- You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

- You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.

- Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.

- You can pronounce the words: "Saguaro", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Cholla", and Tlaquepaque".

- It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.

- You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

- Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just to go to Circle K.

- Some fool can market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them.

- Hot air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.

- No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.

- You can understand the reason for a town named "Why."

ALPHA v0.3