ALPHA v0.3

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The Little Old-Fashioned Lady

Topic: religion


There was a nice lady who was a little old-fashioned. She was planning a week's vacation in Florida at a particular campground; but before going, she wanted to confirm the availability of certain accommodations. Uppermost in her mind were toilet facilities; but she couldn't bring herself to write "toilet" in her letter to the campground owner. After much deliberation, she settled on the use of "bathroom commode." But when she wrote this down, it still sounded too forward; so she rewrote her letter and referred to the bathroom commode as the "BC."

"Does your campground have its own 'BC'?", she wrote.

The campground owner was baffled by the euphemism; so he showed the letter around to several campers. None of them could decipher it either, however. Finally, the campground owner decided the lady must be referring to the location of the local Baptist Church; so he sat down and wrote:

Dear Madam:

I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take pleasure in informing you that a BC is located nine miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at a time.

I admit it is quite a distance away, especially if you're in a habit of going regularly, but no doubt, you'll be pleased to know a great number of locals take their lunch along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late.

The last time my wife and I went was six weeks ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know also, that right now, there is a supper being planned to raise money to buy more seats. They're planning to hold it right in the basement of the BC.

I would like to say, it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it surely is not due to a lack of desire on my part. Rather, it seems, as we grow older, it just takes so much more effort to go, especially in cold weather.

If you do decide to come down for a stay in our campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time, sit with you and introduce you to all the other folks. Remember, we are a friendly community.


ALPHA v0.3