ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


There'S Only Decaf In Hell

Topic: religion


Being a partial list of the things that *are* in hell.

There's only decaf in hell

And only coffeemate to go in it

The only bread in hell is white wonderbread without the crust...and it's 6 days old

There's only margarine in hell

The only vegetable is lima beans

There are only pepsi products in hell.

Tofu is the only protein source in hell

The only beer you'll find in hell is Pabst Blue Ribbon. . . warm

Hell's only candidate is Linden LaRouche

There *is* a swimming pool in hell . . . closed for the season

Hell imports its toilet paper from Israel

The only cartoon you'll see in hell is the Smurfs

And the only TV series is ALF

The only book in hell is the driver's ed manual

There's only Muzak in hell

The only color in hell is hot pink

The only instrument in hell is the bagpipes. . . And nobody plays it well

There are only pennies in hell

Hell hath only plastic flowers

There are only automatic transmissions in hell. . .

And all the drivers are old men with hats

There are only TRS-80's in hell . . . with membrane keyboards

There's only one telephone in hell

There's only fan-fold paper in hell

The only boardgame in hell is Chutes and Ladders

The only video game in hell is Pong. . . and it's out of order

ALPHA v0.3