ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


The Theology Of Toys

Topic: religion

The Theology of Toys

* Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins.

* Hari Krishna - He who plays with the most toys, wins.

* Judaism - He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins.

* Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins.

* Anglican - They were our toys first.

* Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first.

* Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.

* Atheism - There is no toy maker.

* Polytheism - There are many toy makers.

* Evolutionism - The toys made themselves.

* Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys.

* Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to the opposite of heaven if we catch you selling yours.

* Baha'i - All toys are just fine with us.

* Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin.

* Taoism - The doll is as important as the dumptruck.

* Mormonism - Every boy may have as many toys as he wants.

* Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second...

* Hedonsim - Hang the rule book! Let's play!

* 7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.

* Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses.

* Baptist - Once played always played.

* Jehovah's Witnesses - He who "places" the most toys door-to-door, wins.

* Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins.

* Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination.

* Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry.

* Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play.

ALPHA v0.3