ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


You May Be An Engineer If

Topic: science

You may be an engineer, if

You refer to your spouse as "woman@home.wife" or "man@home.husband".

Your favorite TV show is "Mr. Wizard" instead of "Baywatch."

When your family is expecting, you are more interested in the ultrasound equipment than the test results.

When someone asks "What's new?" you answer "C over lambda".

You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, and don't remember your own.

You are always asking your friends from Marketing to hold two leads to a giant capacitor.

You find your head nodding up and down every time you read Dilbert.

Your pocket is full of too many mechanical pencils.

When your 3-year old asks, "Why is the sky blue?", you start explaining it to him/her.

You can explain which direction the water spins as you flush the toilet, and why.

If you go to the air show and start calculating how fast the sky divers are falling, you may be an engineer; if you start telling all the people around you, you definitely are.

If you need a spreadsheet to figure out who owes what for lunch.

If you plan your family vacation on a Gantt chart.

If you pre-plan your route on a map of the exhibits through the annual computer show.

If you read PC World and Popular Mechanics while on vacation.

If you are willing to debate for two hours the possible results of an experiment it takes five minutes to run.

If you know the altitudes at which you must turn off electronic devices on an airplane, and why.

If on a camping trip, your spouse starts complaining about bug "bites" and you respond that "Yes, we do need more memory in our computer".

There's more, but how are you doing so far? Are you an engineer? Happy Engineers' Week!

ALPHA v0.3