ALPHA v0.3

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Major Bug With Vb-Tp During Compilation

Topic: windows


REDMOND, WA (APR. 30) BUSINESS WIRE - Microsoft Corp. announced today that if you thought about the program at all before creating the EXE file, it would fail. Instead you need to carefully think of only the file name and the concept of compilation in order to get it to compile correctly. It seems that the design mode environment does not clean up after all the stray thoughts.

MS technical support is recommending taking a cold shower during file compilation in order to remain distracted enough for it to work correctly. As an interim bug fix, all VB packages are currently being shipped with a towel.

Reports of users getting severe migraines when double-clicking too often with the MindMouse are unconfirmed. As an interim bug fix, all MindMouse double-clicks should be performed with Metallica playing in the background.

Aluminum foil around the head seems to work, but it doesn't look too attractive. It also adds a whole new meaning to Metallica; but prevents the low-level radiation from the user's Walkman from interfering with the synapse-Windows interface.

ALPHA v0.3