ALPHA v0.3

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29 Ways How To Order A Pizza On The Phone

Topic: g-rated

29 Ways How To Order A Pizza On The Phone

1. Use a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

3. End the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

4. Tell the order taker another pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

5. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

6. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

7. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

8. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters Camp, right?"

9. Move the phone farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the phone back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

10. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

11. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

12. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

13. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

14. Try to talk while drinking something.

15. Press 1-2-3 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

16. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." and hang up.

17. Give your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

18. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

19. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

20. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

21. When you're given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

22. Order a one-inch pizza.

23. Have a movie with a loud car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

24. Ask to have the store manager pre-chew the mushrooms because their natural shape 'grosses you out'

25. Can I get a better price without the box?

26. Can I get a better price if I send over some of my own cheese?

27. Suggest that there's a huge tip for the driver if he can deliver before you hang up in 3 seconds.

28. Ask for the "vegetarian special" with just meat.

29. Ask if the driver will be stealing your lawn mower, like he did last time.

ALPHA v0.3