ALPHA - Fun Page

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ALPHA v0.3

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Topic: g-rated

The Speed Of Time By Age...

Disclaimer This Humor Does Not Reflect The Thoughts Or Opinions...

Bill Of No Rights...

For All Those Born Before 1945...

One Line Groaners...

29 Ways How To Order A Pizza On The Phone...

Two Trains And A Fly...

A Comedian In The Third Grade...

56 Ways To Be Annoying...

Top 83 Signs You Have A Drinking Problem...

Actor In A Cage...

Age Barometer...

Airline Dictionary...

Alligators And The Millionaire...

The Animals Football Game...

Answering Machine Phrases...

Subject Ant Genocide...

Various Ants Of The World...

Aptitude Test...

Are You Hurt?...

You'Re Not Old Unless You Can Remember ........

How To Win Arguments...

Great Aunt Bessie...

Can You Pass The Baby Boomer Quiz?...

Murphy'S Laws Of Backpacking...

Ten Great Ways To Enjoy The Summer Heat!...

Top 10 Reasons Why You Can'T Remember Where You Came From Before...

Bill And His Friends...

Bill And The Motorcycle Cop...

At Last--Today'S Your Special(1) Day!...

Brain Damage Quiz...

Aerobics For Your Brain...

Aerobics For Your Brain 2...

Calories Can Be Burned By The Hundreds By Engaging In Strenuous...

Sixteen Steps To Build A Campfire...

Car Names And What They Mean...

Fiat Feeble Italian Attempt At Transportation...

He Is So Cheap -After Shaking Your Hand He Counts His Fingers....

The Story Of Cinderella...

Rules Of Thumb For The Clueless...

How To Tell If A Truck Is Company Owned...

Player'S Guide For Keeping Conductors In Line...

A Bureaucrat'S Guide To Chocolate Chip Cookies...

Definitions Of Cooking Terms...

If Car Dealers Sold Livestock This Is What An Invoice Would Look...

Those Damned Old Eggs...

What The Hell Do You Mean You Want The Day Off...

Smith Was Present When I Was Writing The Report Mailed To You...

The Devil'S Dictionary By Ambrose Bierce...

Dictionary Of Everyday Words...

Tips On Your Diet...

Disclaimer This Humor Does Not Reflect The Thoughts Or Opinions...

Famous Last Words By All Fisherman (At One Time Or Another)...

The Drivers Wife...

The Cat In The Hat By Dr. Seuss 61 Pages. Beginner Books 3.95...

Green Eggs And Ham...

Dr. Seuss Presents The Zax...

The Cat In The Hat...

How The Grinch Stole Christmas...

The Drunk In The Graveyard...

A Man Walks Into The Front Door Of A Bar. He Is Obviously Drunk...

The Drunk Guy...

The Duck And The Grapes...

Economists Don'T Answer To Questions Others Make Because They...

The Circus Elephant...

30 Funny Things To Do On An Elevator....

English Is A Crazy Language...

When I Was In High School I Used To Be Terrified Of My...

Fear Of Flying...

First Aid For Non-Medically Minded Persons...

Football From A Canadian Viewpoint...

Forgetfulness Around The House...

The 10 Commandments Of The Frisbee...

Fruit Cake Recipe...

The Last Full-Deck List...

Fuzzy The Bunny...

Generation Profile Test...

The Golden Age...

Hard Luck Story...

The Hick And The Novelist...

The College Kid And The Hillbilly...

A Horror Movie Character'S Survival Guide...

Accuse The Other Party Of Your Worst Faults....

Rules For Being Human...

Bag Limits For Maryland Males...

Incredible But True Stories...

The Indian From The Little Big Horn...

An Old Native American Wanted A Loan For 500. He Approached His...

The Warning Signs Of Insanity...

Here Are A Few Questions That Will Help Determine Your Chances...

A Blonde Goes For A Job Interview In An Office. The Interviewer...

Jose At The World Series...

Are Your Kids On Drugs?...

The No Kids Restaurant...

Lion Of The Jungle...

Politically-Correct Little Red Riding Hood...

Little Red - Declassified...

How To Tell If Your Cow Has Mad Cow Disease....

Why The Mafia Is A Good Organization To Work For...

Mary And The Lamb...

Mcdonald'S Job Application Employment Test...

Hotel Mccalifornia...

Experts Warn Of Threat From 100Gb Bug...

The Tragic Tale Of Old Macdonalds Farm A Personnel Saga...

The Memory Blues...

Men And Automobiles...

New Miracle Diet...

Mom'S Dictonary...

Motherhood Ain'T What It'S Cracked Up To Be...

Things You Would Never Know Without The Movies...

A Glossary Of Movie Terms...

Murphys Facts Of Life...

Mystery Puzzles...

Are You A Neanderthal?...

New Bull In The Pasture...

You Know You'Re No Longer A Kid When......

Tips For Yankees Relocating To The South...

I Have Noticed...

Office Hours...

Newsflash From Dayton Ohio!...

The Old Man His Wife And The Doctor...

Papa Smurfs Presidential Bid...

The Parakeet And The File...

Preparation For Parenthood Is Not Just A Matter Of Reading Books...

In A Perfect World......

Petey The Snake - The Tongue Twister...

Police Reports...

Safety Tips For The Post-Nuclear Existence...

Procrastinator'S Creed...

The Psychiatric Hotline...

The Ranger And The Outlaw...

The Committee For The Reduction Of Redundancy And The...

Many Many Years Ago When I Was Twenty Three...

The Following May Help Parents Better Understand Their...

The Rescue Mission...

Firerescue Memorandum Office Of The Fire Chief...

What If Mother Goose Had Tendencies And Propensities Toward...

Grammer Made Easy In Twenty-Three Steps...

The Road Crew...

You Know It'S A Rotten Day When...

Rules For Tv Characters...

Subject Say What?...

There Was Once A Deaf Man And A Hearing Man Who Lived Next Door...

Signs We See On The Highways...

The Stop Sign...

The Stress Test...

Stuff We Need Much More Of...

What We Learn From Tv...

Subject The Un Approves Airstrikes On Tonya Harding...

How Long Have You Been Teaching?...

Automotive Tools...

A Summary Of Various Useful Tools...

The Ten Best Tools Of All Time...

Automotive Tools...

Tv Channel Surfing...

Rejected Titles For The Movie Twister...

How I Met My Wife...

Vampire Eradication...

Are You A Vampire?...

Most Of Us Are Aware Of The Famous Dutch Painter Van Gogh And Of...

The Ventriloquist On The Farm...

34 Things I Learned From Video Games...

Armageddon Film At 1100...

Great Rules For Writing...

More Rules For Successful Writing...

Great Medical Disasters...

Here'S My Favorite Recipe For Fruit Cake....

Advice Like Youth Probably Just Wasted On The Young...

A Patron Of A Parisian Restaurant Studied The Menu For A Few...

A Highway Patrol Officer Stopped A Car That Was Traveling Extra...

Pedro Had Built Up A Thriving Business Selling Hot Tamales At A...

Allegedly Happened Late One Night During Bad Weather As Heard...

When Promulgating Your Esoteric Cogitations And Articulating...

25- Boldly Going Nowhere....

Water Vs Coke...

Bumper Stickers...

The Cannibal Entered The Dining Room Aboard The Luxury Ocean...

Q. What Did The Blonde Girl Get On Her Iq Test?...

A Farmer Walks Into The Bar With His 3 Favourite Ducks. He...

Three Pissed Up Blokes Stood On Top Of The Eiffel Tower The...

Have You Ever Been Sent To Prison The Judge Asked The Accused....

The Crew Leader Was Addressing The Galley Slaves. I'Ve Got Some...

Old Doctor I Operated On The Mayor Last Week....

As Bill Was Approaching Mid-Life Physically He Was A Mess. Not...

A Man Walked Into A Store And Told The Clerk This Is My Wife'S...

Woman Boarding A Plane To Stewardess Tell The Pilot Not To Fly...

A Woman Came To The Psychiatrist Worried. Doctor She Said I...

Isn'T It Amazing That Just Enough News Happens Each Day To Fill...

Which Of The Following Items Does Not Belong On The List...

A Retailer Who Sent A Large Order To A Distributor Received The...

Two Golfers Met At The Club. I Heard About Your Terrible Tragedy...

The Couple Awakened From Their Night Of Love Still In Each...

During A Transcontinental Flight A Passenger Looked Out The...

Dr. Goldstein Was Busy With A Patient When His Nurse Burst Into...

The Farmer Frantically Called The Volunteer Fire Department...

Old Man Woodruff Loved Golf But His Age Was Making It...

A Woman Was On The Witness Stand Accused Of Poisoning Her...

Three Elderly Gents Were Talking About What Their Grandchildren...

Hey Sammy How'D You Get That Flat?...

The Unfaithful Wife Was Embracing Her Lover In A Hotel Room When...

A Drunk Was Hauled Into Court. Mister The Judge Began You'Ve...

An Executive Was Giving A Tour Of The New Company Offices To A...

Two Old Friends Were Having Lunch. Their Conversation Started...

A Centenarian'S Advice On How To Live To Be A Hundred Get To The...

The President Of The Company Was Addressing The Board Of...

The New Yorker Was Building Himself A House In Rural Maine So He...

A Farmer Whose Land Fell Right On The Russian-Polish Border Was...

A Chicago Judge Who Was To Decide A Bitter Real Estate Dispute...

You'Ve Helped Quite A Bit The Patient Told The Psychiatrist As...

A Boxer Had Trouble With Insomnia So He Consulted His Doctor...

An Elderly Fisherman Was Fishing By A River Bank When A Stranger...

It Was Just After A Bombing Raid On London During World War Ii...

The Breathless Man Said To The Railroad Ticket Taker The 1145 To...

The Golfer Was Raving About His New Golf Ball. What'S So Great...

The Judge Was Addressing A Man Accused Of Pushing His Mother-In-...

A Man Walked By A House That Was Being Painted And He Noticed...

The Lawyer Was Going Over The Facts Of The Case With His Key...

A New Yorker Walks Into A Delicatessen And Notices The Shelves...

George Set Out On A Very Windy Night To See His Friend Sam Who...

A Coat Rack In The Cafeteria Of A Large Midwestern University...

When President Woodrow Wilson Was Still Governor Of New Jersey...

A Veteran Was Holding Forth About His War Record. Yep He Said I...

Have You Ever Stopped To Think About How Our Streets Aren'T Safe...

A Guy Walks Into A Psychiatrist'S Office And Says Doctor Doctor...

A Missouri Farmer Passed Away And Left 17 Mules To His Three...

A Newcomer To The State Prison Was Surprised To See A Group Of...

Doctor Could You Pay For An Operation If I Found One Was...

The Motorcycle Cop Raced Furiously To Catch Up With The Elderly...

The Report Was That The Residents Of The Lower East Side In New...

The Prisoner Was Brought Before The Judge. Tell The Court Your...

Where Did You Get That Candy? The Mother Asked The Boy....

Smith And Jones Were On Their Way To Play Golf When They Passed...

At A Military Function The Base Commander Launched Into A Long-...

Smith And Jones The Only Two Judges In A Small Western Town Had...

A Centenarian Was Asked His Secrets Of Longevity. Well He Said I...

It Has Been Said That Adam And Eve Had The Only Perfect Marriage...

Every Friday Night A Man Would Come Into Joe'S And Order The...

The City Boy Had Taken His Girlfriend For A Ride In The Country...

There'S A Doctor In Town Who'S Very Reasonable. A Man Walked...

The Man Walked Into The Pet Store Strode Up To The Parrot'S Cage...

Two City Boys Went Up North Fishing Rented A Boat And Got...

A Washington Reporter Was Awakened By Her Husband In The Middle...

Doctor You'Re As Fit As A Fiddle. You'Ll Live To Be Eighty....

I Don'T Understand What People Are Complaining About These Days...

The Minister Was Enjoying A Drive Through The Country One Sunday...

A Drunk Staggered Over To A Parking Meter And Put In A Dime. The...

It Was Their Twenty-Fifth Wedding Anniversary And Mrs. Hillsdale...

Mangled Bicyclist What'S The Matter With You Are You Blind?...

All Right The Farmer Said Sternly To His Sons. Which One Of You...

It Was Christmas And The Four-Year-Old Was Taken Downtown To See...

A Construction Supervisor Noticed That One Of The Summer...

A Young Man Came To The Circus Seeking A Job. Thinking He Might...

The Elderly Couple Were Vacationing At A Romantic Hotel In...

A Woman Seated At The Movies Was Surprised To Find Sitting In...

An Elderly Matron Who Strongly Disapproved Of Betting Was Lured...

Bob Always Looked On The Bright Side. He Would Constantly...

Mother Was Reminiscing About Her Courting Days With Father. The...

A Man Called The Fire Department And Exclaimed Come Quickly! My...

A Very Drunk Very Amorous Couple Were Hugging And Kissing In A...

The Phys-Ed Teacher Was Lecturing His High School Class About...

The Locker Room Attendant Was Not Noted For His Intelligence...

A Cowboy Raced Into The Saloon Fuming. All Right Who'S The Wise...

A Driver Passing A Small Lake Noticed A Young Child Struggling...

Joe Frisco The Stuttering Comedian Was Being Interviewed By A...

A Woman Visited A Psychiatrist. It'S About My Husband She Said...

What Did Nasa Change First When The Challenger Exploded?...

A Man Was Being Blindfolded As He Stood Before The Firing Squad...

Years Ago When He Was Managing The Last-Place New York Mets...

A Man Had To Take A Psychological Test For A Job He Was Applying...

Two Young Women Were Watching A Tv Show On The French Revolution...

A Summer Resident In A Tiny Maine Town Approached An Old-Timer...

My Psychiatrist Told Me I'M Going Crazy. I Told Him... 'If You...

Wife How Come You Don'T Play Golf With Charlie Anymore?...

A Cannibal Visited The Local Butcher Store Looking For Dinner...

A Beggar Approached A Businessman On The Street. Sir Will You...

While Driving Through The Back Roads Of A Little Town The Polish...

Tax Season Was Over And Wendy'S Firm Gave Her Two Weeks For Her...

Everywhere We Looked There Were Indians....

A Russian Man Got A Letter From His American Cousin. It Seemed...

This Guy Enters A Bar Laughing And Approaches The Bartender I'Ve...

Send Someone Here Quickly! A Matronly Woman Screamed Into The...

We Recently Heard Of A Worker Who'D Used Up All His Sick Days So...

Darlene Was The Telephone Operator In The Tiny Town. Every...

What Goes Clop Clop Clop Clop Clop Bang Clop Clop Clop Clop Clop...

Tech Support Help Is Just A Busy Signal Away....

This Ham Sandwich Walks Into A Bar And Orders A Drink...

And Why Do They Call Them Apartments If They Are All Stuck...

Young Harry Was Horsing Around In The Library. The Librarian...

I Was Fishing One Time And The Roaches Eat Up All My Worms When...

A Woman Brought An Old Picture Of Her Dead Husband Wearing A Hat...

Two Irish Explorers Lost In The Jungle Came To A Large Clearing...

Three Men Had Been Friends For A Long Time And Each Night They...

The Lone Ranger And Tonto Ride Into Town On A Hot Summer Day...

A Skeleton Goes Into A Bar And Says To The Bartender Give Me A...

Sixth Sense Psychic Detective Agency. We Know Who You Are And We...

An 85 Year Old Woman Went On A Blind Date With A 90 Year Old Man...

A Mother Was Having A Hard Time Getting Her Son To Go To School...

A Boy Was Taking Care Of His Baby Sister While His Parents Went...

A Drunk Was Walking Through A Cemetery And Fell Into A Hole Dug...

How To Tell The Species Of Bear You Are Looking At Go Over To...

When A Bug Hits The Windshield What'S The Last Thing That Goes...

Two Construction Workers Were Pounding Away With Jackhammers...

The Conductor On The Commuter Train Saw A Passenger With A Pipe....

There Was A Ship Where The Crew All Stuttered. They Were Sailing...

A Barber Nicked A Customer Rather Badly While Giving Him A Shave...

The Foreman Watched A New Worker Carrying Sacks Of Cement. All...

I Have Become A Little Older Since I Saw You Last And A Few...

A Blind Man Walks Into A Drug Store And Starts Knocking Things...

I Want A Tooth Pulled The Man Said To The Dentist When He...

The Dentist Had A Nervous Patient In His Chair And Was Trying To...

One Day A Frog Walked Into A Bank Looking For A Loan.. He Saw A...

A Man Decided One Night That He Wanted To Eat At A Certain Fancy...

You Know You Got Carried Away At The Office Party If...

Which Reminds Me Of The Guy Joined The Airborne And Is Up In The...

One Night A Lady Stumbled Into The Police Station With A Black...

Alzheimer.Com Found . . . Out Of . . . Something . . ....

A Railroad Foreman Reluctantly Filed An Accident Report With The...

If You Adopt A Dog Feed It Take It For Walks And Give It Lots Of...

One Bright Day...

Two Very Old Very Retired Friends Went Fishing Together. They...

Because Of A Dense Fog A Mississippi Steamboat Had To Stop At...

A Woman Making Arrangements With An Artist To Sit For Her...

Hello You'Ve Reached A.D. --- Dyslexic'S Anonymous. Home Not...

Qwhat'S The Difference Between A Kentucky Woman And A Catfish?...

If The Metric System Ever Takes Over We May Have To Say The...

On A Birthday Card I'M Sorry That All I Can Afford To Do For...

What'S The Difference Between A Cello And A Violin? A Cello...

A Certain Guy Sat Down At A Bar Stool And Said Bartender Give Me...

Customer Waiter! There'S No Chicken In My Chicken Soup!...

Iced Tea Must Be An Aggie Drink...Heres Why...

Customer Do You Have Any Cockroaches?...

Two Cowboys Were Riding Through The Desert One Day When They...

This Group Requires No Physical Fitness Program. Everyone Gets...

An International Law Firm Is Advertising For A Paralegal Who Can...

Jones Came Into The Office An Hour Late For The Third Time In...

Sire! Yelled The Nobleman The Peasants Are Revolting!...

From The Desk Of A School Nurse...

Definition Of A Baseball Fan A Person Who Has The Ability To Sit...

A Local Dog Looks Out His Front Porch Window And Sees A Newcomer...

Joe'S Mother-In-Law Had Died And Joe Was At The Mortuary To Make...

Q.-Mr. Hansom The Butcher Wears An Extra-Large Shirt A Size 46...

A Skeptic Went To See A Fortune Teller. You'Re The Father Of 2...

It'S Customary In Pro Football To Greet A New Hotshot With Some...

Was Tending Bar The Other Night When A Guy Came In Walking A Dog...

A Fisherman Met A Man In A Bar I Caught 47 Trout Today Said The...

What Does A Spy Do When He Gets Cold?...

The New Employee Stood Before The Paper Shredder Checking The...

Jackie I Hope I Didn'T See You Copying From Tommy'S Paper Said...

Why When I Was Your Age Said The Old-Timer I Thought Nothing Of...

Tune From The Halls Of Montezuma...

A Cannibal And His Son Are Going To Look For Food. They Hide...

A Kangaroo Kept Getting Out Of His Enclosure At The Zoo. Knowing...

A Sportsman Went To A Hunting Lodge And Bagged A Record Number...

Nancy And Ronald Reagan Go Into A Restaurant And Sit Down. Just...

A Man Mentioned To His Landlord About The Tenants In The...

Doctor I Have Bad News. You'Ve Got Cancer And Alzheimer'S...

A Man Walked Up To The Registration Clerk At A Hotel. Give Me A...

Every Morning I Get Up With The Roosters Boasted The Farmer....

Are You Dead?? Here Are The Symptoms To Look For...

You Must Be The Worst Caddy In The World! Yelled The Angry...

Ethel Orville Are Rocking On The Front Porch One Evening. After...

A Hunter And His Wife Were Out Looking For A Prize Buck. The Man...

A Man Gets Captured By Cannibals And Every Day They Poke Him...

Two Men Were Sitting Side By Side At A Bar Drinking. After A...

A Man Dies And Is Getting His Tour Of Heaven. His Guide Is...

Sam Looked At The Obituaries The Other Day And He Realized...

Then Of Course There Were The Two Cannibals With A Chinese In...

After Spending His Whole Life In The Country A Middle-Aged...

An Army Gi Had Just Purchased A Soft Drink From The Base Vending...

A Sergeant Looked Over A Squad Of Particularly Inept Draftees...

A Hiker Traveling The Mountains Of Arizona Came Upon An Indian...

The Man Of The House Finally Took All His Family'S Disabled...

A Married Couple Trying To Live Up To A Snobbish Life-Style Went...

Why Build A Wall Round A Cemetery When No-One Wants To Get In?...

A Drunk Crossing A Cemetery At Night Fell Into The Hole Freshly...

A Los Angeles Superior Court Judge In Pursuance Of His Duties...

The Assistant Pastor Of A Fundamentalist Christian Church Was...

A Man Was Walking Down The Street When He Was Accosted By A...

A Minister Told His Congregation Next Week I Plan To Preach...

A Buddhist Monk Walked Up To A Hot Dog Vendor And Saidmake Me...

A Group Of Women Was Talking Together. One Said Our Congregation...

A Father Took His Young Son To The Opera For The First Time. The...

Phil And Geoff Were Riding In A Train For The First Time. They...

Woman On A Train Walked Up To A Geoff Across The Aisle. Excuse...

A Passenger On A Train Watched In Astonishment As Ken Across The...

Recently Munich Germany Was Having A Severe Problem With There...

Car Bumper Stickers...

18-Wheeler Bumper Sticker...

A Man Who Was Out Taking A Walk One Day Decided To Walk Down A...

A Man Was Driving Home Late One Afternoon And He Was Driving...

Bill Hillary And Al Gore Are On A Helicopter Tour To Kick Off...

A Chicken Goes Into A Library And Takes Out A Book. The...

A Texan Farmer Goes To Australia For A Vacation. There He Meets...

A Man Was Ready To Take A Swim In A Small Creek When He Noticed...

Mrs. Biddle Was Walking Down The Street One Day Carrying A Small...

Arlene Noticed Her Neighbor Leaving For Work...Embrace His Wife...

One Friend Said To Another Yesterday My Grandmother Fell Down...

A Little Boy Wrote This Letter To His Grandmother -...

A Boy Ran Into The General Store Very Excited And Exclaimed A...

A Friend Was In Front Of Me Coming Out Of Church One Day And The...

A Surgeon Was Discussing A Case With A Class Of Medical Students...

A Wealthy Woman Is Giving A Garden Party And Several Well-To-Do...

This Executive Was Interviewing A Nervous Young Women For A...

Jesus And Moses Were Out Golfing When They Were Teamed Up With...

On A Package Of Mms The Experation Date Is Listed As May 3 1995...

A Pastor Got This Note Addressed To Him And His Wife...

A Farmer And His Wife Went To A Fair. The Farmer Was Fascinated...

The Choir Soloist Was Practicing In The Church With All The...

He'S Great On The Court A Sportswriter Said Of A College Basket...

A Professor Of Chemistry Wanted To Teach His 9Th Grade Class A...

If There Are Any Idiots In The Room Will They Please Stand Up...

A Prospective Juror In A Dallas District Court Was Surprised By...

A Revenue Agent Asked A Young Man Where His Father Was....

Geoff Was Going To Attend A Halloween Party Dressed In A Costume...

A College Professor Had The Mysterous Habbit Of Walking Into The...

The Huge Ship Was Barreling Through The Waters One Inky Night...

Why Does No-One Ever Notice That Superman Is Really Clarke Kent...

Two Pastors Are Out To Lunch And They Both Order Salmon Steaks...

A Man Who Thought He Was John The Baptist Was Disturbing The...

A Radical Feminist Is Getting On A Bus When Just In Front Of Her...

A True Story About Gracie Allen .... At Least It'S Said To Be...

There'S A Man Trying To Cross The Street. But When He Steps Off...

Songs You Can Play On A Touch-Tone Phone....

The Inmate Was Aware That All Prison Mail Passes Through Censors...

Two Highway Workers Are At A Construction Site When A Car With...

A Hospital Director Was A Strict Advocate Of Managed Health Care...

A Group Of People Are Touring The White House In Washington D.C...

At An Elegant Cocktail Party One Of The Guests Suddenly Let Out...

Just When Pastor Evans Believed That He Had Brought Religion To...

This Woman And Her Husband Had Gathered Different Kinds Of...

An Antelope And A Lion Took A Booth In A Roadside Diner. When...

Apparently Arnold Schwarzenegger'S Next Movie Is Going To Be...

There Was A Optimist Who Tried To Persuade A Pessimist By Taking...

When The Husband Came Home From His Job He Found His Wife...

Why Is It That Weeds Grow Best In My Lawn While Grass Grows Best...

All Night Long A Guy Dreams About The Number 5. He Awakens In...

A Thin Man And A Fat Man Met In A Hotel Lobby. From The Looks Of...

My Brother-In-Law Likes To Chase The Cat Around The House...

A Rather Slow Witted Fellow Decided To Make A Day Of It Ice...

Years Ago While Lying In My Hammock And Drinking Jd From The...

On The Occasion Of The Annual Banquet At Season'S End The...

Two Older Gentlemen Are Playing Cards On Saturday Evening As...

A 4-Year-Old Attended Evening Church Services With His...

A Couple Of Tac Pilots Were Flying F-102'S In Escort With A B-36...

One Day In The Old West(American That Is) A Bible Thumper Burst...

A Woman Was Having Her Upstairs Room Painted And Thought The...

Our Credit Manager Is Miss Helen Wait. So If You Want Credit Go...

There Was Once A Mother Pigeon Who Had A Nest Full Of Squabs And...

A Man Goes To The Doctor And Says To The Doctor It Hurts When I...

Four-Year-Old Johnny Was Visiting His Grandmother In San...

A Sunday Teacher Told Her Class To Think Of A Bible Story And...

A Mother Asked Her Daughter Why Can'T You Behave Like Sally Next...

A Mother Had Just Brought Her Newborn Triplets Home From The...

A Seven-Year-Old Told His Teacher I Don'T Want To Scare You But...

A Five-Year-Old Rushed Home From Kindergarten And Begged His...

A Father Took His Small Son To Visit The Family'S New Arrival In...

The Mother Calls Out To Her Little Girl Did You Go Next Door And...

A Customer Told A Hardware-Store Clerk That She Wanted A Three-...

So What About Duck Tape? How Many Ducks Had To Give Up Their...

Two Men Sentenced To Die In The Electric Chair On The Same Day...

At A Church Supper A Man Ate The Fish And Chips Being Served And...

Clarence Forsburg Tells A Story About A Preacher Who Went Out To...

A Teacher Asked Her Children To Draw Pictures Of Christmas To...

A Grandmother Was Sitting On The Beach Watching Her Young...

A Young Man Filled Out A Job Application. He Handed It To The...

A Local Florist Just Went Out Of Business But It Was His Own...

Santa Claus And An Elf Were Having An Argument. Santa Said There...

One Afternoon Stan The Man Musial Was Having A Field Day Against...

While Gazing At Dinosaur Fossils In New Mexico A Tourist Asked A...

Her Father Asked His Prospective Son-In-Law If He Could Support...

A Drug Addict Wants To Learn How To Fly A Helicopter. He Goes To...

A Man Began Having Some Very Strange Physical Symptoms At Work...

A New Scientific Study Has Revealed That Nearly 13 Of All People...

Just Occured To Me That The Guy Whose Wife Ran Off With A...

Once When Mohammed Ali Was Flying The Stewardess Came Over And...

A Guy In A Restaurant Says To The Waitress I Want A Cup Of...

A Young Woman Tired Of Hearing Her Parents Telling Her To Get...

A Hunter From The City Bagged A Big Buck Deer. Just About That...

One Day A Salesman Stopped By The Tom Jenkins Farm Knocked And...

What Did The Hot Dog Say When He Crossed The Finish Line?...

What Do You Call The Ice Cream Truck Man?...

What Is More Useful After It Is Broken?...

Why Do Bananas Wear Suntan Lotion?...

What Do They Call French Fries In France?...

What Happened To The Monster That Took The Five O'Clock Train...

A Small Social Club Was Trying To Organize A Baseball Team. They...

I Was Reading My Neice Some Bible Stories And The Kid Is Pretty...

A Kid Is Attending A Church For The First Time. As They Are...

One Useless Man Can Be Called A Disgrace. Two Really Useless Men...

Golfing Is The Art Of Using A Bowed Club And A Flawed Swing A...

Clothing Purchase Rules...

A Matronly Woman Was Leaving Her New Physician'S Office When She...

Can You Count Asked The Golfer To The Caddy Asking For A Job....

One Morning Daddy Bear Came Down To Breakfast To Find His...

I Never Used To Be Able To Finish Anything But Now I...

Wife I'Ve Been Asked For A Reference For Our Last Maid. I'Ve...

Two Old Buddies Met On Main Street And Began Chatting. Len Said...

A Boy From New York Was Being Led Through The Swamps Of Florida....

Teach You Missed School Yesterday Didn'T You?...

Eight-Year-Old Sally Brought Her Report Card Home From School...

A Korean And Jew Are At A Bar Having Some Drinks. Out Of The...

After Christmas Vacation An Elementary School Teacher Was Asking...

Paul Revere Had Just Discovered That Someone In Boston Was A Spy...

A Man Was Driving Home From Work Late One Night And Was Stopped...

There Are Three Couples Having Tea.. The First Husband Says To...

An Actual Exchange Between Shanahan And The Man At The Hardware...

George Bush In An Airport Lobby Noticed A Man In A Long Flowing...

Flanagan Was Driving Home From The Pub And Weaving All Over The...

Is This Seat Saved? No But We'Re Praying For It....

How Did Moses Part The Red Sea?...

What Ballet Do Squirrels Like?...

A Driver Was Busily Digging His Car Out Of The Mud. A Nosy...

Ever Notice That The People Who Say That'S The Way The Ball...

Cleona And Her Son Attending A Wedding Were Asked By The Usher...

Two Drunks Found Themselves On A Roller Coaster. One Said We'Re...

She Told Me A Woman Complained To A Friend That You Told Her The...

A Pilot'S Flying A Small Single-Engined Charter Plane With A...

The Prosecution And Defense Had Both Presented Their Final...

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Columbus Planted The Flag And Said I Claim This Island For The...

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Press Release -- For Immediate Publication...

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Joe Had Been Driving His 18-Wheeler For A Number Of Years...

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When I Was Born My Parents Were Going To Call Me 7 And 38Ths...

A Forger I Ink...Therefor I Scam!...

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I'Ll Be Cloned For Christmas...

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The Irishman Got Thirsty Rushing Downstairs So He Went To A Bar...

Two Ministers Were Walking Along A Country Road. One Of Them...

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Santa'S Checkride...

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Lady Astor To Winston Churchill Sir If You Were My Husband I'D...

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Ned Had A Dream About His Friend Luke. Ned Dreamed That Luke...

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Psychiatrist What'S Your Problem?...

Diner Do You Serve Chickens Here?...

A Lady Came Up To Me On The Street And Pointed To My Suede...

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Patient Doctor You Must Help Me. I'M Under Such A Lot Of Stress...

Patient Walks Into A Doctor'S Office....

Nurse Doctor There Is An Invisible Man In Your Waiting Room....

Doctor What Seems To Be The Trouble?...

Patient Please Tell Me Doctor Am I Getting Better?...

As The Doctor Completed An Examination Of The Patient He Said I...

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Two Hillbillies Were Taking A Trip To The Big City. One Of Them...

President Clinton Recently Got Off Of Airforce One With A Pig...

The Patient Stood Nervously In The Consulting Room Of An Eminent...

The Doctor Told Me He Would Have On My Feet In No Time. He Was...

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A First Grade Teacher Asked Her Pupils To Draw Pictures Showing...

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Sherlock Holmes Stood At The Gates Of Heaven Pulling At His Pipe...

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A Man In California Desperately Approached The Airline Ticket...

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A Kindergarten Teacher Asked What Is The Shape Of The Earth?...

Just Before The Thanksgiving Holiday The Teacher Asked Her...

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Step 1). Go To Yer Favorite Bank....

An Elderly Man Was Quite Unhappy Because He Had Lost His...

A Guy Walks Into A Bar. Real Tough Guy Probably A Boxer Or...

Telephonering Ring...

The Lady Of The House Told The Cook Anna When You Serve The...

A Horse Walks Into A Bar And Orders A Drink. The Bartender Gives...

When You Hear A Man Boast Of Running Things At His Home You Can...

A Lady Was Walking Down The Road When She Met A Very Strong...

A Man Went Into The Bank For A Loan. The Loan Officer Said I'Ll...

A Little Old Lady Walked Into The Bank Cashed A Small Check And...

Received A Letter From My Bank The Other Day Telling Me This Is...

If Bankers Can Count How Come They Always Have Ten Windows And...

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A Banker Fell Out Of His Pleasure Boat And Called For Help. A...

One Bank Opened A Branch Near A Cemetery. In The Window The...

Jesse James Told His Brother Frank Tomorrow We Rob The Second...

When I Moved Into This Small Town Everybody Greeted Me Hello...

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What'S The Name Of The New Tv Detective Program Starring A...

Two Dogs Are Walking Down The Street And Come To A Parking...

During A Riot There Was A Strict Eight O'Clock Curfew. Two...

Watching Her Mother As She Tried On Her New Fur Coat Young Becky...

Well Snarled The Tough Old Sergeant To The Bewildered Private. I...

While Visiting A Friend Who Was In The Hospital I Noticed...

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What Did One Florida Alligator Say To The Other One Last Week?...

Johnny Got Lost In The Forest. When It Got Dark He Could Not See...

There Once Was An Elephant Who Came Down With A Very Serious...

Balancing The Books At The End Of The Month Is Not One Of The...

A Couple Were Going Out For The Evening. They'D Got Ready All...

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A Defending Attorney Was Cross Examining A Coroner....

Try This When You Are A Passenger In The Front Seat Of A...

Have You Heard About These People?...

When A Man Is Described As Having A Green Thumb It Doesn'T...

He Must Be A Good Gardener. He And His Plants Are Both Potted!...

Why Does The Farmer Put A Bell Around A Cows Neck?...

What Do You Get From A Forgetful Cow?...

Four Men Of The Cloth Were Chatting. The Rabbi Confessed I Like...

When Lenny Retired From The Railway After 50 Years' Service The...

A Slice Of Bread Is Better Than Nothing....

A Film Crew Was On Location Deep In The Desert. One Day An Old...

A Husband And Wife Were Out Golfing Together One Day When They...

There Was A Rather Laconic Old Farmer Sitting On The Verandah...

A Camper Found Himself Bothered By Mosquitoes During The First...

My Wife And I Had A Great Summer Relaxed And Restful. In Fact...

A Very Ugly And Conceited Young Man Wanting To Get Married Went...

Jesus Was Having Dinner With His Disciples One Time And As They...

A Buzzard Walked Up To The Ticket Counter At The Airport To...

What Does Valuline Serve For Beverages On Its Flights?...

So Two Brunettes And A Blonde Walk Into A Bar....

A Reporter Who Specialized In Feature Articles Interviewed A Man...

A Couple Of Young Fellers Were Fishing At The River And A Game...

A Lawyer And A Doctor Get In A Car Wreck. The Lawyer Gets Out...

Jones Finished His Police Training And Was Inducted Into The...

A Man Lies On His Deathbed Surrounded By His Family A Weeping...

On A Visit To Scotland General Ulysses S. Grant Was Treated To A...

Four Soldiers Were Found In A Room With Cards Money On The Table...

Edna Seamon'S Husband Had Passed On And She Was So Distraught...

This Guys Wins Lotto And Rushes Home To Tell His Wife....

Teacher Asks The Kids In Spelling Class To Tell What Their...

A Lady Told Her New Maid I Declare I Can Write My Full Name In...

The New Preacher...At His First Service...Had A Pitcher Of Water...

A Baptist Preacher Went To Visit A Member Of The Community And...

The Best Prank Is To Wait Until Someone Leaves Their House.Then...

A Call Came To The Firehouse Just As They Had Sat Down To...

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A Wealthy Computer Manufacturer Celebrates The Very Successful...

Hi I'M Tom Bodet For Motel 5 Where You Can Get A Clean...

A Husband And Wife Were Having An Argument About Who Was The...

The Trial Suffered From A Hung Jury And Day After Day Passed...

Peter White Went To His Insurance Agent To Report That His Car...

Unhappy At The State Of Junior'S Room His Mother Came Up With A...

A Golfer Goes Into The Pro Shop And Looks Around Frowning...

My Face In The Mirror...

After An Itinerant Backwoods Preacher Had Delivered A Hell-And-...

A Sergeant Looked Over A Squad Of Particularly Inept Draftees...

A Guy'S Stumbling Down The Street. A Cop Sees Him And Says Hey...

Mark Twain (1835-1910) Tells The Story Of Trying To Get Rid Of A...

Sally'S Husband Didn'T Leave A Bit Of Insurance. Everyone Wanted...

A Man Went To A Radio Shop To Buy A Car Radio And The Salesman...

Q. What'S The Purpose Of The Airplane Propeller?...

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Reasons Why Tv Is Better Than The Web...

Dial'S Laws Of Slow Motion...

The Airplane'S Crew Stood Watching Tensely As A Frail Old Woman...

The Pastor Was Delivering His Sermon When A Gentlemen In The...

One Day A Salesman Stopped By The Tom Jenkins Farm Knocked And...

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A Young Fellow With Long-Hair Was Trying To Enter A Swim Club...

Economics Is The Only Field In Which Two People Can Get A Nobel...

Man Walking Along A Road In The Countryside Comes Across A...

Economist Poem...

Q. What Do Economists And Computers Have In Common ?...

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Two Economists Were Walking Down The Street When They Noticed...

A Civil Engineer A Chemist And An Economist Are Traveling In The...

Three Economists And Three Mathematicians Were Going For A Trip...

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When Albert Einstein Died He Met Three New Zealanders In The...

Q How Many Mainstream Economists Does It Take To Change A Light...

Q How Many Wharton Mbas Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?...

Q How Many B-School Doctoral Students Does It Take To Change A...

Qwhy Did God Create Economists ?...

Q Why Did The Economist Cross The Road?...

Q. What Does An Economist Do?...

Two Economists Meet On The Street. One Inquires How'S Your Wife?...

To An Economist Real Life Is A Special Case....

I Asked An Economist For Her Phone Number....And She Gave Me An...

Conversation Between Two Dinosaurs...

Economists Have Forecasted 9 Out Of The Last 5 Recessions....

An Econometrician And An Astrologer Are Arguing About Their...

Eighty Percent Of Rules Of Thumb Only Apply 20 Percent Of The...

Econometrics Is The Art Of Drawing A Crooked Line From An...

One Day In Microeconomics The Professor Was Writing Up The...

Q Why Has Astrology Been Invented?...

Back In The Mid-1970S I Attended An Assaaea Convention In Dallas...

A Totalitarian Head Of State Asked For An Economist With One Arm...

The Commerce Department Has A 46-Page Application Packet For...

In Canada There Is A Small Radical Group That Refuses To Speak...

An Economist Was Asked About The Meaning Of Life. He Replied...

On The First Day God Created The Sun - So The Devil Countered...

Three Leading Economists Took A Small Plane To The Wilderness In...

An Economist Is Someone Who Didn'T Have Enough Personality To...

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Q What Is A Recent Economics Graduate'S Usual Question In His...

An Economist Returns To Visit His Old School. He'S Interested In...

Economics Is Extremely Useful As A Form Of Employment For...

The First Law Of Economists For Every Economist There Exists An...

If All The Economists Were Laid End To End...

We Have 2 Classes Of Forecasters Those Who Don'T Know . . . And...

Murphys Law Of Economic Policy Economists Have The Least...

An Economist Is An Expert Who Will Know Tomorrow Why The Things...

A Study Of Economics Usually Reveals That The Best Time To Buy...

An Economist Is Someone Who Sees Something Working In Practice...

Rejected Greeting Cards...

If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer!...

The Photographer...

Malborn Sat In His Attorney'S Office. Do You Want The Bad News...

Boudreaux A True Cajun Was Sitting At The Maurice City Bar In...

While Proudly Showing Off His New Fraternity House To Friends A...

A Blonde Decides To Try Riding Horseback Even Though She Has Had...

A Blonde Reported For Her Final Examination Which Consisted Of...

Three Folks Each With A Hearing Loss Were Taking A Walk One Fine...

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A New York Man Was Forced To Take A Day Off From Work To Appear...

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There Has Long Been A Rumor That W. R. Grace Co. Was Going To...

Five Facts About Guys...

A Guy Stood Over His Tee Shot For What Seemed An Eternity...

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Four Guys Are Telling Stories In A Bar. One Guy Leaves For A...

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Research Had Been Going On For Many Years As To The Invention Of...

A Funeral Service Is Being Held In A Church For A Woman Who Just...

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There Were Three Men Standing At The Pearly Gates Of Heaven...

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A Man Piloting A Hot Air Balloon Discovers He Has Wandered Off...

An Explorer In The Deepest Amazon Suddenly Finds Himself...

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Two Guys Are Walking Through The Woods And Come Across This Big...

Mahatma Ghandi Walked Barefoot Everywhere To The Point That His...

On A Plane Bound For New York The Flight Attendant Approached A...

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Larry'S Barn Burned Down And His Wife Susan Called The Insurance...

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10 Ways To Annoy People...

It'S A Sunny Morning In The Big Forest And The Bear Family Are...

Julie The Blonde Was Getting Pretty Desperate For Money. She...

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In Case Of Fire Yell 'Fire'....

A Man'S Home Is His Hassle...

Reality Is For People Who Can'T Face Science Fiction...

People With Narrow Minds Usually Have Broad Tongues...

A Man'S Best Friend Is His Dogma...

Health Is Merely The Slowest Possible Rate At Which One Can Die...

Achizophrenia Beats Being Alone...

To Err Is Human To Forgive Is Against Company Policy...

Help Stamp Out And Abloish Redundancy...

Programming Departmrnt Mistakes Made While You Wait...

Everyone Hates Me Because I'M Paranoid...

If Everything Is Coming Your Way You'Re In The Wrong Lane...

The Fact That You'Re Paranoid Doesn'T Mean They'Re 'Not' Out To...

Any Simple Idea Will Be Worded In The Most Complicated Way...

Time Is Nature'S Way Of Keeping Everything From Happening At...

A Conclusion Is Simply The Place Where You Got Tired Of Thinking...

A Closed Mouth Gathers No Feet...

The Paper Is Always Strongest At The Perforations...

Pentiums Melt In Your Pc Not In Your Hand....

Licensed Remote Control Operator....

Does Anal Retentive Have A Hyphen?...

That Was Zen This Is Tao....

Do Dogs Mistake You For A Friend (Or A Fire Hydrant)?...

Multi-Tasking - Screwing Up Several Things At Once....

Tomato Paste - What You Use To Fix Broken Tomatoes....

Make It Idiot Proof And Someone Will Make A Better Idiot....

Never Try To Outstubborn A Cat....

I'M Not A Complete Idiot Some Parts Are Missing!...

I Tried Snorting Coke Once. I Almost Drowned....

Bill Clinton The Edlin Of Presidents....

I'Ve Plummeted To My Death And I Can'T Get Up!...

Whoever Decided To Limit Taglines To A Single Line Can Just Kiss...

He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest!...

I Just Got My Phone Bill. Buy Att Stock Now!...

When The Chips Are Down The Buffalo Is Empty....

Meow ...Splat... Aarf ...Splat... (Raining Cats And Dogs)...

Always Remember You'Re Unique - Just Like Everyone Else....

Always Forgive Your Enemies. They Hate That!...

Gone Crazy Be Back Later Please Leave Message....

If Things Get Any Worse I'Ll Have To Ask You To Stop Helping Me....

If It Ain'T Broke Yet Let Me Have A Shot At It....

I'M Being Held Prisoner In A Chocolate Factory. Don'T Send Help....

Will The Information Superhighway Have Any Rest Stops?...

If One Synchronized Swimmer Drowns Do The Rest Have To Drown...

I Shot Jfk And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt....

I Love My Country But I Fear My Government....

I Hit The Crtl Key But I'M Still Not In Control!...

Online? Hit Alt-H For A Quick I.Q. Test....

Of Course I'M Sane. The Voices Said So....

I Don'T See You So Don'T Pretend To Be There....

Pms Is A Vicious Cycle!...

Women Do Come With Instructions Ask Them!...

Well To Be Frank I'D Have To Change My Name....

They Made Us Eat Porridge. It Was A Gruelling Experience....

Two Silkworms Were Having A Race But It Ended In A Tie....

A Miser Is Someone Who Earns His Money The Hoard Way....

Rap Is To Music As The Etch-A-Sketch Is To Art....

Help Wanted Telepath. You Know Where To Apply....

Mary Had A Little Ram Its Bits Were White As Snow....

The Longer A Man Is Wrong The Surer He Is That He'S Right....

You'Re Not Drunk If You Can Lie On The Floor Without Holding On....

Don'T Look Back They Might Be Gaining On You....

Klingon Prime Directive If It Moves Shoot It....

Daddy Why Doesn'T This Magnet Pick Up This Floppy?...

I Live In A Quiet Neighborhood - They Use Silencers....

A Bird In The Hand Doesn'T Count In Poker....

What Is A Sysop And Why Would I Want To Yell At It?...

Give Me Ambiguity Or Give Me Something Else....

We Are Born Naked Wet And Hungry. Then Things Get Worse....

What Came First The Woman Or The Department Store?...

I Tried To Smoke Some Hash But The Corned Beef Wouldn'T Light!...

Death To All Fanatics!...

Tractor Pulls For People Who Can'T Understand Wrestling....

I Don'T Have A License To Kill. I Have A Learner'S Permit....

If You Can'T Say Something Nice Say Something Surreal....

I Have A Rock Garden. Last Week Three Of Them Died....

Love Two Vowels Two Consonants Two Fools....

Lsd Virtual Reality Without The Expensive Hardware....

I Don'T Want The Whole World Just Your Half....

Energize Said Kirk And The Pink Bunny Appeared....

Baby Philosophy If It Stinks Change It....

According To My Calculations The Problem Doesn'T Exist. Some...

Are Alive Only Because It'S Illegal To Kill....

That'S Entertainment. - Vlad The Impaler...

Why Are There Interstate Highways In Hawaii?...

Professionals Are Predictable - Amateurs Are Dangerous!...

Pride Is What We Have. Vanity Is What Others Have....

Taxation With Representation Isn'T So Hot Either....

Philistines Demand David Be Tested For Steroids....

I Brake For Hallucinations....

A Bartender Is Just A Pharmacist With A Limited Inventory....

Computer Science Solving Today'S Problems Tomorrow....

Entomology I Fear No Weevil....

It Said Insert Disk 3 But Only Two Will Fit!...

Zebra A Sports Model Jackass....

Reality? That'S Where The Pizza Delivery Guy Comes From!...

Lottery A Tax On People Who Are Bad At Math....

Error No Keyboard - Press F1 To Continue....

Cats Know How We Feel. They Don'T Give A Damn But They Know....

There'S Too Much Blood In My Caffeine System....

Artificial Intelligence Usually Beats Real Stupidity....

Cream Rises To The Top...So Do Dead Fish....

Ask Me About My Vow Of Silence!...

A Bachelor Never Makes The Same Mistake Once....

If You Can Read This My Cloaking Device Is On The Fritz....

What'S All This About Hell Fire And Dalmations?...

Veni Vidi Velcro I Came I Saw I Stuck Around....

Every Time My Ship Comes In There'S A Dock Strike....

Efficiency Is A Highly Developed Form Of Laziness....

Guts Putting Sysop In Your Twit Filter....

Why'D They Bury Mozart? Because He Was Decomposing....

Excuse Me Chief My Shoe Is Ringing....

Got A 486 For My Wife - Good Trade....

If Everything Seems To Go Right Check Your Zipper....

The Four Food Groups Fast Frozen Instant And Chocolate....

Ted Kennedy'S Bumper Sticker My Other Car Is Underwater....

Do Televangelists Do More Than Lay People?...

Gotta Run The Cat'S Caught In The Printer....

Cherware - You Have To Send In Proof Of A Tattoo....

Neutrinos Have Mass? I Didn'T Even Know They'Re Catholic!...

I Wouldn'T Be Caught Dead With A Necrophiliac....

Don'T Be So Open Minded That Your Brain Falls Out....

I Know It All I Just Can'T Remember Most Of It....

Can Priests Turn Other Food Into God Or Only Cookies?...

What Goes Around Usually Gets Dizzy And Falls Over....

If Reality Wants To Get In Touch It Knows Where I Am....

Friends Help You Move. Real Friends Help You Move Bodies....

No I'M Not An Elitist. Why Do You Ask Peasant?...

Did You Expect Mere Proof To Sway My Opinion?...

Smokey The Bear Says Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires....

Just Sliding Down The Razor Blade Of Life....

The Most Affectionate Creature Is The Wet Dog....

I Can'T Think Of Anything That Remotely Fits The Subject....

Bother Said Pooh As He Struggled With His Condom....

Raise Your Iq Eat Gifted Children....

I Was Born Alive. Isn'T That Punishment Enough?...

Computing Is A Terminal Condition....

My Superiority Complex Is Better Than Yours!...

Hey Can I Get Something To Drink? Socrates...

I Drank What? Socrates...

Double Your Drive Space - Delete Windows!...

Everybody Stand Back He'S Got A Magnet!...

Everything'S Falling Into Place - On Top Of Me....

I Won'T Rise To The Occasion But I'Ll Slide Over To It....

Boldly Going Forward Because We Can'T Find Reverse....

What Is A Free Gift? Aren'T All Gifts Free?...

Jesus Saves Sinners And Redeems Them For Valuable Prizes....

Work Harder!... Millions On Welfare Depend On You!!!...

Semiconductor A Part-Time Orchestra Leader....

A Camel Is A Horse Planned By Committee....

A Day Without Radiation Is A Day Without Sunshine....

A Dirty Book Is Rarely Dusty....

All I Want Is A Warm Bed A Kind Word And Unlimited Power....

All Stressed Out And No One To Choke......

Blessed Are The Pessimists They Make Backups!...

Bumper Sticker On A Hearse I'D Rather Be Breathing....

Christ Died For Our Sins So Let'S Not Disappoint Him....

Dam Mothers Against Dyslexia....

Don'T Drink Water Fish Make Love In It....

Don'T Look Back The Lemmings Are Gaining On You....

Error 103Dead Mouse In Hard Drive....

Everyone Hates Me Because I'M Paranoid!...

How Does Michael Jackson Pick His Nose? From A Catalog!...

I'M Not Schizophrenic And Neither Am I....

If Einstein Had Been Black It Would Be Emc Hammer....

If I Were Here More Often I Wouldn'T Be Gone So Much....

If There Is No God Who Pops Up The Next Kleenex?...

If You Can'T Make It Good Make It Look Good....

It Said Insert Disk 3 But Only Two Will Fit!...

It'S Bad Luck To Be Superstitious....

Jfk I Need This Motorcade Like I Need A Hole In My Head!...

Maybe This World Is Another Planet'S Hell....

Never Hit A Man With Glasses. Use Your Fist!...

Never Use A Long Word When A Diminuitive One Will Do....

Nudist Camp Sign Sorry Clothed For Winter....

Nudists Are People Who Wear One-Button Suits....

Nuke The Baby Seals For Jesus!...

Os2 Virusscan - Windows Found Remove It? (Yy)...

On An Electrician'S Truck Let Us Remove Your Shorts...

Recursive Adj. See Recursive...

Red Ship Crashes Into Blue Ship - Sailors Marooned....

Remember When Safe Sex Meant Not Getting Caught?...

Remember That You Are Unique. Just Like Everyone Else....

Shin Device For Finding Furniture In The Dark.....

Stand On The Toilet Get High On Pot....

Try To Look Unimportant They May Be Low On Ammo......

Winter Is Nature'S Way Of Saying Up Yours....

It'S Not The Fall That Kills You It'S The Sudden Stop......

If At First You Don'T Succeed Destroy All Evidence That You...

Dos Error Please Remove Cat From Drive A...

How Come Dos Never Says Excellent Command Or Filename...?...

John Wayne'S World It'S Party Time Pilgrim....

Phobia -- What You Have Left Over After You Drink Two Out Of A...

Aacckk!! Ii''Mm Iinn Hhaallff Dduupplleexx!!...

Ibm It'S Broke Man...

9 Out Of 10 Men Who Have Tried Camels Prefer Women....

640 K 4480 In Dog Bytes....

Lotus - Let Only The Users Suffer....

The Fcc Has Recently Approved Standards For High-Definition Tv...

The Businessman Climbed The Steps Of His Front Porch And Noticed...

A Husband Came Home And Told His Wife That His Wallet Was Stolen...

Where Do Polar Bears Vote?...

What Did The Limestone Say To The Geologist?...

What Should You Do If You Can'T See At Night?...

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When Is The Moon The Heaviest?...

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Why Do Spiders Spin Webs?...

What Flowers Are On Your Face?...

What'S Yellow And Always Points North?...

What Would You Do If You Smashed Your Toe?...

How Do You Make A Vanilla Shake?...

What'S The Difference Between A Bear And An Ant?...

What'S Better Than A Talking Dog?...

What'S The Difference Between A Nickel And A Dime?...

What Looks Like A Horse And Flies?...

What Kind Of Dog Tells Time?...

What Game Do Judges Play?...

What'S At The Bottom Of The Sea And Shakes?...

What Stays Hot Even If You Put It In The Freezer?...

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