ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


In A Perfect World...

Topic: g-rated


...a person should feel as good at 50 as he did at 17, and he would actually be as smart at 50 as he thought he was at 17. could give away a baby bed without getting pregnant.

...forget-me-nots would stimulate the memory.

...doing what was good for you would be what you enjoyed doing the most. baseball players would complain about teachers being paid contracts worth millions of dollars.

...people would always have good reasons to be optimistic. would never fumble, but if you did, you would recover the ball yourself.

...the mail would always be early, the check would always be in the mail, and it would be written for more than you expected.

...potato chips might have calories, but if you ate them with dip, the calories would be neutralized.

...if the guy from the government said to you, "I'm here to help," not only would he mean it, but he would do it.

...first impressions wouldn't count for nearly as much as ultimate performance.

...winning might be a nice thing, but that would be all.

...all people would expect to be accepted.

...every one in a while at least, a kid who always closed the door softly would be told, "Go back and slam the door."

...highway patrolmen would never be around when you're running late, but would always be at your side when a BMW blows past or a Mac truck won't get off your bumper.

...the better food tasted, the less calories it would have.

...warranties would be for 13 months and products would fail at 12.

...more would be accomplished by governments when they spent more.

ALPHA v0.3