ALPHA v0.3

Because of the fun and sarcastic nature of some of these jokes, viewer & reader discretion is advised. Don't read'em and then complain!

This is an alpha release of this section. If you find any problems or would like to recommend something, please be kind enough to give us some feedback.


The Rescue Mission

Topic: g-rated



Dear Sir

Perhaps you have heard of me and my National Campaign in the cause of temperance. Each year for the fast fourteen, I have made a tour of Florida, Southern Georgia, Indiana, Iowa, and Illinois and have been accompanied by my young friend and assistant, Clyde Lindstone.

Clyde, a young man of good family and an excellent background, is a pathetic example of life ruined by excessive indulgence in marijuana, whiskey, and women. Clyde would appear with me at the lectures and sit on the platform, eyes bloodshot and bleary, wheezing and staring out at the audience, sweating profusely, picking his nose, passing gas and making obscene gestures, while I would point him out as an example of what over indulgence can do to a person.

Last fall, unfortunately, Clyde died. A mutual friend has given me your name and I wonder if you would be available to take Clyde's place on my upcoming spring tour?

Yours in faith, Reverend Elton Jones Director of Rescue Mission

ALPHA v0.3