ALPHA v0.3

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The Stress Test

Topic: g-rated

The Stress Test

Score 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.

1. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".

2. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.

3. The cat is on Valium.

4. People have trouble understanding your kids because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.

5. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.

6. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.

7. No one has _time_ to wait for microwave TV dinners.

8. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.

9. You have to check your kid's Day-Timer to see if he can take out the trash.

10. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.


30 - a perfect score. Welcome to the neighborhood!

20-29 - You are doing reasonably well, but still have too little going on in your life. Crank it up.

10-19 - You have mastered some of the aspects of the stress-filled life, but still have a long way to go. Have you considered a parallel career path?

0-9 - Enjoying all that extra time? What do you _do_ anyway?

ALPHA v0.3