"Human beings are not an endangered species; however, this isn't for a lack of trying." ---DNA

"The theoretical broadening which comes from having many humanities subjects on the campus is offset by the general dopiness of the people who study these things and by the Department of Home Economics." ---Richard Feynman

"Faith: not *wanting* to know what is true." ---Friedrich Nietzsche

"There is on earth among all dangers, no more dangerous thing than a richly endowed and adroid reason, especially if she enters into spiritual matters which concern the soul and God. For it is more possible to teach an ass to read than to blind such a reason and lead it right; for reason must be deluded, blinded, and destroyed." ---Martin Luther

"Faith must trample under foot all reason, sense, and understanding, and whatever it sees it must put out a signt, and wish to know nothing but the word of God." ---Martin Luther

"And the Son of God died; it is by all means to be believed, because it is absurd. And He was burried and rose again; the fact is certain because it is impossible." ---Church Father Tertullian (A.D. 150-225), De Carne Cristi

"The whole idea of existence is that you're not a snowflake. You're simply another generic idiot in the long line of mutated monkies, and if left upto you, you'd be flinging your shit around just like your ancestors." ---Mad

"It's not the pace of life that concerns me. It's the sudden stop at the end." - /.

"A journey of a thousand miles is begun with a single step." - Chinese proverb

"You can slide furthur on bullshit, than you can on concrete."

"When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped." - Marcel Achard

"I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by." - Douglas Adams

"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank." - Woody Allen

"Unix gives you just enough rope to hang yourself -- and then a couple of more feet, just to be sure. - Eric Allman

"This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation." - Anonymous

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." ---Napoleon Bonaparte

"Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but god man, your abusing that privilage."

"If debugging is the process of removing bugs, programming must be the process of putting them in."

"Programming is like sex, one little mistake and you provide support for the rest of your life"

"Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've watched C beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain." - Ruteger Hauer in Blade Runner

"Any design is a path through a field of tradeoffs." - Particle

"if pro is the opposite of con, then the opposite of progress would be...." - /.

"A fuller discussion of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle may be found in the Appendix. Then again, it may not." - /.

"Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door." - JH

"Adding a decimal point increases the truth of any statistic. 82.34% of people say so." - /.

"People frequently expect it to work like this. So it does." - Perl documentation

"If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower." - Groucho Marx

"Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead." - The Warner Brothers

"I am regularly asked what the average Internet user can do to ensure his security. My first answer is usually 'Nothing; you're screwed.'" - Bruce Schneier

"A picture is worth a thousand words...and uses up a thousand times the memory." - Anonymous

"A girl phoned me the other day and said .... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home." - Rodney Dangerfield

"The world is divided into people who do things - and people who get the credit." - Dwight Morrow

"The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact, non-Westerners never do." - Samuel P. Huntington

"Smoking helps you lose weight - one lung at a time." - A. E. Neumann

"There are 10 kinds of people: those who understand binary, and those who don't." - Anonymous

"There are 11 types of people - Those who know binary, those who don't, and those who laugh cus they think they do but don't." - Anonymous

"Demand not that I am the equal of the greatest, only that I am better than the wicked." - Seneca, Stoic philosopher 4BC - 65CE

"I persist on praising not the life I lead, but that which I ought to lead. I follow it at a mighty distance, crawling." - Seneca, Stoic philosopher 4BC - 65CE

"The best ideas are common property." (gee they understood open source even then) - Seneca, Stoic philosopher 4BC - 65CE

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult." - Seneca, Stoic philosopher 4BC - 65CE

"Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness." - Seneca, Stoic philosopher 4BC - 65CE

"No evil propensity of the human heart is so powerful that it may not be subdued by discipline." - Seneca, Stoic philosopher 4BC - 65CE

"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful." - Seneca, Stoic philosopher 4BC - 65CE

"Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them." - Anonymous

"If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation." - Anonymous

"Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security." - Anonymous

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines." - Anonymous

"Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity" - Anonymous

"A person who smiles in the face of adversity...probably has a scapegoat." - Anonymous

"Plagiarism saves time." - Anonymous

"If at first you don't succeed, try management." - Anonymous

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether." - Anonymous

"TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself." - Anonymous

"The beatings will continue until morale improves." - Anonymous

"Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups." - Anonymous

"We waste time, so you don't have to." - Anonymous

"Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!" - Anonymous

"Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker." - Anonymous

"A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all." - Anonymous

"When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break." - Anonymous

"INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY." - Anonymous

"Succeed in spite of management." - Anonymous

"Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment." - Anonymous

"Humans rely on the altruism of gravity." - Alex Nikiforov

"When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." - Henry Ford

"Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs." - P.J. O'Rourke

"There are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and Slashdot is NOTHING like Shakespeare..." - Anonymous

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy." - Benjamin Franklin

"The Concorde was great. It travels at twice the speed of sound. Which is fun except you can't hear the movie until two hours after you land." - Howie Mandel

"When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty." - Norm Crosby

"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire." - George E. Woodberry

"When asked to provide an estimate of something big, the most honest thing to do is to stall." - Robert L. Read

"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking." - H. L. Mencken

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." - Douglas Adams

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book." - Groucho Marx

"To understand recursion, one must first understand recursion." - Anonymous

"Not only does God play dice, but...he sometimes throws them where they cannot be seen." - Stephen Hawking

'I find your "use" of "quotation marks" somewhat "confusing." Do you "mean" them as "irony" or as "emphasis?" Just "asking."' - Twirlip of the Mists (/.)

"I know not what weapons world war 3 will be fought with, but world war 4 will be fought with sticks and stones" - Albert Einstein

"Only two things are infinite: The universe and Human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe" - Albert Einstein

"Perhaps we could write code to optimize code, then run that code through the code optimizer?" - Anonymous Coward (/.)

"Money is not everything. There's Master card & Visa." - Anonymous

"One should love animals. They are so tasty." - Anonymous

"Save water. Shower with your girlfriend." - Anonymous

"Love the neighbor. But don't get caught." - Anonymous

"Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two." - Anonymous

"Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life." - Anonymous

"The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise." - Anonymous

"Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives." - Anonymous

"Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today." - Anonymous

"Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop." - Anonymous

"Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children." - Anonymous

""Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep." - Anonymous

"There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning." - Anonymous

""Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk?" - Anonymous

"God made relatives; Thanks God we can choose our friends." - Anonymous

"When two's company, three's the result!" - Anonymous

"A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view." - Anonymous

"The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn." - Anonymous

"Life is like a grapefruit, orange, squishy and some people have half a one for breakfast" - DNA (THHGTTG)

"The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armor to lead all his customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who by peddling second-hand, second-rate technology, led them all into it in the first place." - Douglas Adams Author, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes." - Jack Handey

"It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money. " - JH

"One of the problems of taking things apart and seeing how they work - supposing you're trying to find out how a cat works--you take that cat apart to see how it works, what you've got in your hands is a non-working cat. The cat wasn't a sort of clunky mechanism that was susceptible to our available tools of analysis." - Douglas Adams Author, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

"I have strong opinions of my own but I don't always agree with them." - George W. Bush

"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'" - Tommy Cooper

"I am feeling a bit better each day and hope that the temporal sequence is not a Cauchy sequence with a negative limit! :)" - Rohid Parikh

"I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people." - Ed Bluestone

"Computer science is as much about computers as astronomy is about telescopes." - Edsger Wybe Dijkstra: 1930-2002

"Physics is like sex: sure, it may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it." - Richard Feynman

"The only way to make music that cannot be copied is to make music that cannot be heard. The only way to make movies that cannot be copied is to make movies that cannot be viewed." - Gene Kan before the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing titled "Music on the Internet: Is There an Upside to Downloading?"

"After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'" - Ronnie Shakes

"Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks." - Anonymous

"A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good." - Anonymous

"Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again." - Anonymous

"By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends." - Anonymous

"Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door." - mr. h4x0r sig

"If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out." - Anonymous

"Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car." - Anonymous

"I know God won't give me more than I can handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much." - Mother Theresa

"Dogs have owners. Cats have staff." - Anonymous

"If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before." - Anonymous

"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane." - Anne

"Once I wept for I had no shoes. Then I met a man with no feet, so I took his shoes. I mean, it wasn't as if he was going to need them." - Anonymous

"I may contradict myself, but at least I don't contradict myself." - Anonymous

"Under capitalism man exploits man. Under communism it's the other way around." - Anonymous

"A witty saying proves nothing." - Voltaire (1694-1778)

"I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public." - Anonymous

"I'm really easy to get along with once you see it my way." - Anonymous

"I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter." - Anonymous

"I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid." - Anonymous

"The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist." - Anonymous

"The only thing new in the world is the history you don't know." - Harry S. Truman

"Alchohol, cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." - Homer Simpson

"A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." - Herm Albright

"All democracies turn into dictatorships — but not by coup. The people give their democracy to a dictator, whether it's Julius Caesar or Napoleon or Adolf Hitler. Ultimately, the general population goes along with the idea ..." - George Lucas

"That's the issue that I've been exploring: How did the Republic turn into the Empire? That's paralleled with: How did Anakin turn into Darth Vader? How does a good person go bad, and how does a democracy become a dictatorship? It isn't that the Empire conquered the Republic, it's that the Empire is the Republic." - George Lucas

"The human race does not have a very good record of intelligent behavior." - Stephen Hawking, The Universe In A Nutshell

"In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better." - Ellen DeGeneres

"One of my biggest problems these days is it is very hard to pretend I'm enthusiastic about work when I know most work is pointless, run by idiots and in 2 months I'll only be there for the money." - CheezHankrn

"They would say I don't have faith. Crap, I do. I would say their faith shows how much they are allowing themselves to be mislead." - CheezHankrn

"I usually try to keep my sadness pinned up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness." - Turanga Leela, Futurama

"That? It's nothing. Yes. Nothing. If you think it's anything, you're a suspicious moron." - Professor, Futurama

"It's better to keep one's mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and resolve all doubt." -Abraham Lincoln

"Just because someone agrees with you doesn't make you right. It just means there's some one else out there as stupid as you." - Nathan Reed

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others." - Groucho Marx.

"Statistics show 50% of the people use the internet. The rest have sex with real people." - Jay Leno

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying." - Woody Allen

"It's God's responsibility to forgive Bin Laden... It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting!" - United States Armed Forces

"He who laughs last, thinks slowest." - Anonymous

"Do you ever wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges?" - Anonymous

"Honk if you love peace and quiet." - Anonymous

"Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?" - Anonymous

"Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool." - Anonymous

"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong." - Anonymous

"If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would try to pass them." - Anonymous

"Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population." - Anonymous

"The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first." - Anonymous

"A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well." - Anonymous

"It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats." - Anonymous

"I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few." - Anonymous

"I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it." - Anonymous

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." - Anonymous

"My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside." - Roseanne

"Honestly, the first time that Mr. Gates ever hears my name will not be because I have done something right. I am sure that it would be quite the opposite." - Mike Truitt, Microsoft Corporation

"When terrorists knock down buildings, when drought wipes our farmers, when the economy threatens to come to a halt, even those who are ideologically hostile to the government turn to it, both logically and reflexively, for help. We suddenly trust Washington not because it has done something new to earn our trust but because the alternative of not trusting it has suddenly become too terrifying to contemplate." - Jacob Weisberg, The New York Times Magazine, October 21st, 2001

"Hello, I'm from the government, and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan, 10 scariest words in the English language

"I'm not so sure the role of the United States is to go around the world and say this is the way it's got to be. ... And maybe it's just our difference in government, the way we view government, I mean, I want to empower people, I don't - you know, I want to help people help themselves, not have government tell people what to do. I just don't think it's the role of the United States to talk into a country and say, We do it this way, so should you. ... I think the United States must be humble and must be proud and confident of our values, but humble in how we treat nations that are figuring out how to chart their own course." - George W. Bush, during the second presidential debate, October 11th, 2000

"I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain." - Carol Leifer

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." - Dave Edison

"Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place." - Johnny Carson

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock." -Will Rogers

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight." - George Gobel

"I'd say I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid He might hear me." - Anonymous

"I don't fear God- I fear His believers..." - Anonymous

"The terrorists attacked our freedom, and now our government is finishing the job." - anon US citizen

"World War III will be a guerilla information war, with no division between military and civilian participation" - Herbert Marshall McLuhan (1911-1980)

"Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these." - Ovid (43 B.C. - A.D. 18)

"Civilisation is only a pretense. In crisis we have become mere apes again, forgetting the rational biped of our pretensions and instead becoming the hairy primate at the mouth of the cave, screeching at the enemy wishing it would go away, fingering the heavy stone we will use the moment it comes close enough" - Orson Scott Card, Xenocide

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." - J.R.R. Tolkien

"An elite group of less than a billion people now take more than 80 per cent of the world's wealth." - John Pilger

"Eye for eye and the world will go blind." - Ghandi

"In the City of God there will be a great thunder, Two brothers torn apart by Chaos, while the fortress endures, the great leader will succumb [...] The third big war will begin when the big city is burning." - Nostradamus 1654 (Fake Nostradamus Quote)

"i am not doing nothing" - ruyiy

"Who knows who wrote the paperclip in MS office? If it were open source, you could go to his house and shoot him." - Anonymous

"We believe in war only if we somehow start one." - Christian, TheSpark

"I want to rock and roll all night, and party every day!" - KISS (Rock Band)

"the internet? is that thing still around?" - homer simpson

"The practices that make up XP can be learned by anyone who has convinced someone else to pay them to program." - Kent Beck, Extreme Programming Explained

"In a symbol there is concealment and yet revelation: here therefore, by Silence and by Speech acting together, comes a double significance." - Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)

"Like the ski resort full of girls hunting for husbands and husbands hunting for girls, the situation is not as symmetrical as it might seem." - Alan Lindsay Mackay, Lecture, Birckbeck College, 1964

"I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter." - Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)

"A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes." - Joseph Addison

"I don't like my job and I don't think I'll go anymore." - Peter Gibbons, Office Space

"People are not meant to sit in cubicles all day." - Peter Gibbons, Office Space

"You are never as good as you seem when you're hot and you're never as bad as you seem when you're cold." - Anonymous

"I'm seriously considering eating your wife" - Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter in Hannibal

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - The Great One

"My Balogney has a first name it's H-O-M-E-R. My balogney has a second name it's H-O-M-E-R." - DanFungus

"I don't defend anything. I just poke at things and watch them wobble." - Fetid Monkey

"I am not attacking anything. I just poke at things and watch them wobble." - Alex Beylin, commenting on Fetid Monkey's quote

"Passive activity income does not include the following: Income for an activity that is not a passive activity." - IRS form 8583, Passive Activity Loss Limitation

"You will find it a distinct help if you know and look as if you know what you are doing." - IRS Training Manual for tax auditors

"We all get heavier as we get older because there's a lot more information in our heads." - Vlade Divac, NBA basketball player

"Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean." - Pedro Guerrero, baseball player, on reporters

"Brave people may not live for long, but cautious don't live at all." - Royal Body-guard, The Princess Diaries

"Anything worth doing, is worth over-doing." - Anonymous

"... People would like to think that there's somebody up there who knows what he's doing. since we don't participate, we don't control and we don't even think about questions of vital importance. we hope somebody is paying attention who has some competence. let's hope the ship has a captain, in other words, since we're not taking part in what's going on... it is an important feature of the ideological system to impose on people the feeling that they really are incompetent to deal with these complex and important issues: they'd better leave it to the captain. one device is to develop a star system, an array of figures who are media creations or creations of the academic propaganda establishment, who's deep insights we are supposed to admire and to whom we must happily and confidently assign the right to control our lives and to control international affairs..." - Noam Chomsky

"Democracy is the worst sytem in the world, except for all the others..." - Anonymous

"Life is Sexually Transmitted." - BigDaddyPig

"You really have to admire Microsoft for its proficiency at what it does. You also have to admire the proficiency of sharks, scorpions, and black widow spiders." - Sean M. Dugan

"It's a fine line between clever and stupid." - Sean M. Dugan

"You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough." - Mike Myers as Dr. Evil

"Get over here! I'm gonna eat ya! I'm bigger than you. I'm higher on the food chain. Get in my belly!" - Mike Myers as Fat Bastard

"To only a fraction of the human race does God give the privilege of earning one's bread doing what one would have gladly pursued free, for passion." - Frederick P. Brooks, Jr.

"The Path of the righteous man is beset on all sides, by the inequities of the selfish, and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed are those, who in the name of charity and justice, shepherd the weak, through the valley of darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper, and the finder of lost children. And I will STRIKE down upon thee with GREAT vengeance and FURIOUS anger, THOSE, who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! And you will know, my name is the LORD, when I lay my vengeance upon thee! - Eziekel 25:17." - The Holy Bible (apparently), and/or Samuel L Jackson, Pulp Fiction

"We have no butter, but I ask you, would you rather have butter or guns? Shall we import lard or steel? Let me tell you, preparedness makes us powerful. Butter merely makes us fat. Steel? Lard?" - Herman Goering to Hitler during WWII

"Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony" - Laurence Fishburne, Matrix

"Good business man never reveals his secrets especially if he himself is not very sure about them." - Rajeev Kumar Gupta

"American components....Russian components.... All made in Taiwan." - Lev Andropov, Armageddon

"You know, I've never killed a man before. I mean I droped bombs on the enemy from the above, but never face to face. [thinking pause] I don't see what the big deal is - I really don't." - John Travolta, Broken Arrow

"If I was gonna buy you flowers, where would I send ... NO, if I was gonna let you Suck My Tounge, would you be greatful?" - Nicolas Cage, Face Off

"I am the law!" - Silvestor Stalone, Judge Dredd

"Anybody not wearing a two-million sun block is gonna have a pretty bad day." - Linda Hamilton, Terminator 2

"We need healthy young earth studs to repopulate our world--we need your love rocket." - Jasae, Bad Girls From Mars

"She's gonna be the next bounce on your king-size Posturepedic, isn't she?" - Wendy MacDonald, Legal Tender

"That bitch treated me like a used pair of panty hose at a swap meet." - Tanya Roberts, Legal Tender

"Let's get us some lunch, and let's get us some puking vampires." - Robert Shurtz, Vampire Trailer Park

"The mind is a terrible thing to waste--don't make me waste yours." - Jimmy Medina Taggert, Class of 1999

"Sit your five-dollar ass down before I make change." - Wesley Snipes, New Jack City

"You gotta rob to get rich in the Reagan era." - Wesley Snipes, New Jack City

"Half the battle is just showing up." - Anonymous

"God forgives - the Brotherhood doesn't." - Lance Henriksen, Stone Cold

"I will not carve gods." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not spank others." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not aim for the head." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not barf unless I'm sick" - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not conduct my own fire drills." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"Funny noises are not funny." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not snap bras." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not fake seizures." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"This punishment is not boring and pointless." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"My name is not Dr. Death." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not prescribe medication." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not bury the new kid." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not teach others to fly." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not bring sheep to class." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"A burp is not an answer." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"Teacher is not a leper." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"Coffee is not for kids." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not eat things for money." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not call the principal "spud head"." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"Goldfish don't bounce." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"Mud is not one of the 4 food groups." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"No one is interested in my underpants." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not sell miracle cures." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will return the seeing-eye dog." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I do not have diplomatic immunity." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not charge admission to the bathroom." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not go near the kindergarten turtle." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I am not deliciously saucy." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"Organ transplants are best left to professionals." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not celebrate meaningless milestones." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"There are plenty of businesses like show business." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"Five days is not too long to wait for a gun." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not waste chalk." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I will not skateboard in the halls." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"Underwear should be worn on the inside." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"The Christmas Pageant does not stink." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers." - Bart Simpson's Chalkboard

"sorry i dont understand humor; unless it's my humor, then i almost always get it..." - Rally1

"Abstinence is the worst form of perversion." - Guy de Maupassant, 1850 - 1893

"Your friends aren't necessarily the people you like best, They're just the ones who got there first." - Anonymous

"The next step is to configure the X server. That is covered in detail in an as-yet unwritten document :-(." - XFree86 4.1 Installation Guide

"A computer program is a message from a man to a machine. The rigidly marshaled syntax and the scrupulous definitions all exist to make intention clear to the dumb engine." - Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man-Month

"I have never seen an experienced programmer who routinely made detailed flow charts before beginning to write programs." - Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man-Month

"The fundamental problem with program maintenance is that fixing a defect has a substantial chance of introducing another." - Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man-Month

"Systematically identity top designers as early as possible. The best are often not the most experienced." - Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man-Month

"A ship on the beach is a lighthouse to the sea." - Dutch Proverb

"Good cooking takes time. If you are made to wait, it is to serve you better, and to please you." - Menu Of Restaurant Antoine, New Orleans

"These studies revealed large individual differences between high and low performers, often by an order of magnitude." - Sackman, Erikson, and Grant

"Add little to little and there will be a big pile." - Ovid

"He'll sit here and he'll say, 'Do this! Do that!' And nothing will happen." - Harry S. Truman, On Presidential Power

"Practice is the best of all instructors." - Publilius

"Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other." - Poor Richard's Almanac

"The author should gaze at Noah, and ... learn, as they did in the Ark, to croud a great deal matter into a very small compass." - Sydney Smith, Edinburgh Review

"There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy." - Swift

"It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

"A good workman is known by his tools." - Proverb

"I can call spirits from the vasty deep.; Why so can I, or so can any man; but will they come when you do call them?" - Shakespeare, King Henry IV, Part I

"None love the bearer of bad news." - Sophocles

"How does a project get to be a year late? ... One day at a time." - Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man-Month

"What we do not understand we do not possess." - Goethe

"O give me commentators plain, Who with no deep researches vex the brain." - Crabbe

"There is no single development, in either technology or management technique, which by itself promises even one order-of-magnitude improvement within a decade in productivity, in reliability, in simplicity." - Frederick P. Brooks, Jr., The Mythical Man-Month

"Every bullet has its billet." - William III of England, Prince Of Orange

"Whoever thinks a faultless piece to see, Thinks what ne'er was, nor is, nor e'er shall be." - Alexander Pope, An Essay on Criticism

"For brevity is very good, Where we are, or are not understood." - Samuel Butler, Hudibras

"I know no way of judging the future but by the past." - Patrick Henry

"You can never plan the future by the past." - Edmund Burke

"We have already gone so far down the road of serving computers that we’ve come to accept our servitude as necessary. It isn’t. It is time for us to rise up with a profound demand: 'Make our computers simpler to use!' Make them talk to us, do things for us, get the information we want, help us work with other people, and adapt to our individual needs. Only then will computers make us productive and truly serve us, instead of the other way around." - Michael L. Dertouzos, Director of the MIT Laboratory for Computer Science, in his book The Unfinished Revolution

"Being a manipulative scum is fun. and everyone is, they just don't admit it." - CheezHankrn

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." - Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949

"I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." - The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957

"But what ... is it good for?" - Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip.

"So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we' ll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'" - Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer in 1976.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

"The key is not to die for your country, but make the other bastard die for his!" - Gen. George Patton.

"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana." - Anonymous

"Do or do not, there is no try." - Yoda, StarWars

"Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an ass." - Anonymous

"When something is made idiot proof, they will just make better idiots." - Anonymous

"Never drive faster than your Guardian Angel can fly!" - Anonymous

"When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth." - Anonymous

"When I get to heaven I'm gonna find the guy in charge of the weather and kick his rear." - Anonymous

"And GOD said 'Don't make me come down there!'" - Anonymous

"If you wait until something is broken to fix it... there may not be anything left to fix." - John Martin (Taco Bell Inc. Manager), September 1988

"Life is hilariously cruel." - Bender, Futurama

"Being captain is about intuition and heart. A good captain can't have either one." - Professor, Futurama

"Every time you clap your hands you kill thousands of spores that will someday form a nutritious fungus. Just show your approval with a mole friendly thumbs up." - Free Waterfall Sr. Founder of Penguins Unlimited, Futurama

"If rubbing frozen dirt in your crouch is wrong, then I don't want to be right." - Free Waterfall Sr. Founder of Penguins Unlimited, Futurama

"Good way to avoid frostbite folks, is to put your hands between your buttocks, that's natures pocket." - Free Waterfall Sr. Founder of Penguins Unlimited, Futurama

"Nobody enjoys shooting penguins, but if you have to shoot penguins, you might as well enjoy it." - Free Waterfall Sr. Founder of Penguins Unlimited, Futurama

"I'm basically a very lazy person who likes to get credit for things other people actually do." - Linus Torvalds

"Perfection (in design) is achieved not when there is nothing more to add, but rather when there is nothing more to take away." - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"Geographically, Australia is a long way from anywhere. To Americans, it conjures up images of fuzzy marsupials, not computer hackers." - Suelette Dreyfus, Underground

"A colleague once told me that the world was full of bad security systems designed by people who read Applied Cryptography" - Bruce Schneier (author of Applied Cryptography).

"People don't understand computers. Computers are magical boxes that do things. People belive what computers tell them." - Bruce Schneier, Secrets & Lies

"Hmm, officer, we just found Bob's bullet-riddled body buried in the end zone at Giants Stadium. I think I detect a crime here." - Bruce Schneier, Secrets & Lies

"There's an entire flight simulator hidden in every copy of Microsoft Excel 97." - Bruce Schneier, Secrets & Lies

"Microsoft made a big deal about Windows NT getting a C2 security rating. They were much less forthcoming with the fact that this rating only applied if the computer was not attached to a network and had no network card, and had its floppy drive epoxied shut, and was running on a Compaq 386. Solaris's C2 rating was just as silly." - Bruce Schneier, Secrets & Lies

"To achieve C3 security rating using Microsoft Windows, simply power down the machine. ;-)" - Particle

"It looks obvious until you try it." - IEEE Software

"He that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils for time is the greatest innovator." - Francis Bacon

"Hope is a good breakfast, but it's a bad supper." - Francis Bacon

"Wanted: Young, skinny, wirey fellows not over 18. Must be expert riders willing to risk death daily. Orphans preferred. Wages $25 per week." - Pony Express advertisement, 1860

"A scientist builds in order to learn; an engineer learns in order to build." - Fred Brooks

"Engineering is the application of scientific principles toward practical ends. If the engineering isn't practical, it's bad engineering." - Steve McConnell, After The Gold Rush

"Trying to apply formal methods to all software projects is just as bad as trying to apply code-and-fix development to all projects." - Steve McConnell, After The Gold Rush

"The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits but not when it misses." - Francis Bacon

"All models are wrong; some models are useful." - George Box

"Nam et ipsa scientia potestas est (Knowledge is power)" - Francis Bacon

"Truth will come sooner out of error than from confusion." - Francis Bacon

"A prudent question is one-half wisdom." - Francis Bacon

"Engineers produce plans. Builders implement the plans to produce a product." - Terri Maginnis

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill

"Proof is an idol before which the mathematician tortures himself." - Sir Arthur Eddington

"The essential quality of a proof is to compel belief." - Fermat

"An expert problem solver must be endowed with two incompatible qualities - a restless imagination and a patient pertinacity." - Howard W. Eves

"A problem worthy of attack proves it's worth by fighting back." - Piet Hein

"When it rained I used to think that Zeus was pissing through a sieve!" - Strepsiades from Aristophanes Clouds

"As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives. Every wife had seven sacks, every sack had seven cats, every cat had seven kits. Kits, cats, sacks, and wives, how many were going to St. Ives?" - Anonymous (repeated by 'Simon' in Die Hard With a Vengeance)

"What we have to learn to do, we learn by doing..." - Aristotle, Ethics

"The Analytical Engine has no pretensions whatever to originate anything. It can do whatever we know how to order it to perform." - Ada Byron, Countess of Lovelace

"I'm sorry Dave; I can't let you do that." - HAL 9000 in 2001: A Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke

"I'm completely operational and all my circuits are functioning perfectly." - HAL 9000 in 2001: A Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke

"The map is not the territory; the name is not the thing named." - Alfred Korzybski

"What have I learned but the proper use of several tools?" - Gary Snyder, What have I learned

"All the objects of human reason or inquiry may naturally be divided into two kinds, to wit, 'Relations of Ideas' and 'Matters of Fact.'" - David Hume, An Inquity Concerning Human Understanding

"The only way to rectify our reasonings is to make them as tangible as those of the mathematicians, so that we can find our error at a glance, and when there are disputes among persons we can simply say 'Let us calculate ... to see who is right.'" - Leigniz, The Art of Discovery

"It is a capital mistake to theorize in advance of the facts..." - Arthur Conan Doyle, Sherklock Homes

"The imagination loses vitality as it ceases to adhere to what is real." - Wallace Stevens

"I understand the fury in your words, but not the words." - William Shakespeare, Othello

"They have been to a great feast of languages, and stolen the scraps." - William Shakespeare, Love's Labours Lost

"I wish someone would tell me what 'Ditty wah ditty' means." - Arthur Blake

"For how is it possible, says that acute man, that when a concept is given me, I can go beyond it and connect with it another which is not contained in it, in such a manner as if that latter necessarily belonged to the former?" - Immanuel Kant, Prolegomena to a Future Metaphysics

"Any rational decision may be viewed as a conclusion reached from certain premises... The behavior of a rational person can be controlled, therefore, if the value and factual premises upon which he bases his decisions are specified for him." - Simon, Decision-Making and Administrative Organization, 1944

"Reasoning is an art and not a science." - Wos Et Al., Automated Reasoning, 1984

"The mind being, as I have declared, furnished with a great number of the simple ideas conveyed in by the senses, as they are found in exterior things, or by reflection on its own operations, take notice, also, that a certain number of these simple ideas go constantly together... which, by inadvertency, we apt afterward to talk of and condier as one simple idea." - John Locke, Essay Concerning Human Understanding

"The task of mathematics consists in the organization of a series of aids to the imagination in the process of reasoning." - A. N. Whitehead

"All our knowledge is symbolic." - Goethe, Table Talk

"See simplicity in the complicated." - Lao Tzu

"Order and simplification are the first steps toward the mastery of a subject." - Thomas Mann, The Magic Mountain

"What's past is prologue." - William Shakespeare, The Tempest

"Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?" - T. S. Eliot, Choruses from the Rock

"I can picture a world without war, without conflict, and I can picture us attacking that world. Because they would never expect it."

"One way to keep people [on a mailing list] is give them gifts, another is to kick them when they try to get away." -Alex Beylin

"Tonight's weather: Dark with continued darkness until dawn."

"Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?"

"Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface."

"The idea of a Being who interfere with the sequence of events in the world is absolutely impossible." -A. Einstein, 1931

"It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship god but to create him." - Arthur C. Clarke

"Faith is believing what you know ain't so." -Mark Twain

"It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bothers me - it's the parts that I do understand." -Mark Twain

"A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence." -David Hume

"We give definitions to everything, all definitions are relative, and no one definition is correct." -Particle

"The software box said 'Requires Windows95 or better'. So I installed Linux."

"Assume anyone you meet is a drooling moron until proven otherwise." - CheezHankrn

"Remember that computers are all mad" - CheezHankrn

"You'd PAY to know what you REALLY think." -Dobbs 1961

"I have seen the truth, and it makes no sense."

"Aluminum foil makes a nice hat.  And it blocks the government's mind-control rays." - CheezHankrn

"There is less in this than meets the eye."

"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."

"All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening."

"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me."

"It's a funny thing about life: If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."

"If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right."

"The weak have one weapon: the errors of those who think they are strong."

"I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than be a success at something I hate."

"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."

"Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Lets Party!' "

"We are what we see, hear, feel, smell, and taste." -Vildman

"Assume you're an IDIOT, then you'll always impress yourself." -Vildman-ism

"You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all it's accessories."

"The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts the moment you get up and doesn't stop untill you get into the office."

"Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done."

"The future has a way of arriving unannounced."

"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get."

"Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex brings up some pretty good questions." - Woody Allen

"Marriage is the death of hope." - Woody Allen

"Sex without love is an empty gesture. But as empty gestures go, it is one of the best." - Woody Allen: Love and Death

"It is impossible to love and be wise." - Francis Bacon

"What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork." - Pearl Bailey

"Reject hatred without hating." - Mary Baker Eddy: Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures

"What the public wants is the image of passion, not passion itself." - Roland Barthes

"Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another." - Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Success and Failure}

"Hatred: A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's superiority." - Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary {Success and Failure}

"Helpmate: A wife, or bitter half." - Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary

"Incompatibility: In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination." - Ambrose Bierce: The Devil's Dictionary

"Love: A temporary insanity cureable either by marriage or by removal of the influences under which he incurred the disorder. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than the patient." - The Devil's Dictionary

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." - William Blake

"As long as I have you there is just one other thing I'll always need -- tremendous self control." - Ashleigh Brilliant

"Sometimes I need what only you can provide -- your absence." - Ashleigh Brilliant

"If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry." - Anton Chekhov

"True friendship is like sound health -- the value of it is seldom known until it is lost." - Charles Caleb Colton

"Treasure your relationships, not your possessions." - Anthony J. D'Angelo: The College Blue Book {Wealth and Poverty}

"In the end, we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught." - Baba Dioum

"Math is like love -- a simple idea but it can get complicated." - R. Drabek {Science and Religion}

"A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"What is Mind? Doesn't Matter... What is Matter? Never Mind..." -Homer J. Simpson.

"All mankind loves a lover." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I'm a great housekeeper. I get divorced. I keep the house." - Zsa Zsa Gabor

"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing; a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." - Sacha Guitry

"Women make love for love, men make love for lust." - Derrick Harge {Men and Women}

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder." - Thomas Haynes Bayly

"Love and a cough cannot be hidden." - George Herbert

"Love is like a fruit. It may look good, but you shouldn't bite in it until it's ripe." - Nick Hertl

"Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise." - John Heywood

"Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life." - Eric Hoffer

"Burning desire is the eternal flame." - Doug Horton

"If you love something, turn it loose. If it doesn't come back, kill it!" - Doug Horton {Altruism and Cynicism}

"Love is a given, hatred is aquired." - Doug Horton

"Love is seeing without eyes, hearing without ears; hatred is nothing." - Doug Horton

"Money is good, love is wealth." - Doug Horton

"No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys." - Doug Horton

"The more we are filled with thoughts of lust the less we find true romantic love." - Doug Horton

"A friend is someone who knows all about you and and still likes you." - Elbert Hubbard

"A man is in love when something in his head, something in his and chest and something in his pants react to a certain woman." - Brian Hwang

"The opposite of love is not hate, the opposite of love is ignorance." - Brian Hwang

"Love is like the measles, all the worse when it comes late." - Douglas Jerrold

"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride wortwhile." - Franklin P. Jones

"Kindness is loving people more than they deserve." - Joseph Joubert {Vice and Virtue}

"If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself." - Dorothy Law Nolte

"When love turns into dust, money becomes the substitution." - D. H. Lawrence

"I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!" - Tom Lehrer

"Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends." - Cindy Lew

"Talk not of wasted affection; affection never was wasted." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got." - Sophia Loren

"Love: The delusion that one woman differs from another." - Henry Louis Mencken

"Love cures people; both the ones who give it, and the ones who receive it." - Karl Menninger

"My husband gave me a permanent wave, and now he's gone." - Dawn Messer

"If you think there are no new frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date." - Olin Miller

"Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out." - Michel de Montaigne

"The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread." - Mother Teresa

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets." - Ogden Nash

"The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of." - Blaise Pascal {Happiness and Misery}

"A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce." - Don Quinn {Men and Women}

"Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties." - Jules Renard

"For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." - Rainer Maria Rilke

"Absence extinguishes small passions and increases great ones, as the wind blows out a candle, and fans a bonfire." - La Rochefoucauld

"All the passions make us commit faults; love makes us commit the most ridiculous ones." - La Rochefoucauld {Success and Failure}

"A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted." - Helen Rowland

"Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself." - Helen Rowland {Men and Women}

"There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved." - George Sand

"If you love someone, tell them. They won't be the only one glad that you did." - Jamie C. Scott

"When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part." - George Bernard Shaw

"As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take the course he will. He will be sure to repent." - Socrates

"My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates

"No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth." - Robert Southey

"If only bad habits could be broken as easily as hearts!" - Christopher Spranger: The Effort to Fall {Vice and Virtue}

"The essence of true friendship is to make allowances for another's little lapses." - David Storey

"'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." - Alfred Tennyson

"It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all." - William Makepeace Thackeray

"Truth is fiction when spilled from the lips of a man.quot; - Lisa Tillotson

"If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?" - Lily Tomlin

"Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly." - Voltaire

"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" - Mae West

"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." - Mae West

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." - Oscar Wilde

"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience." - Oscar Wilde

"People who are sensible about love are incapable of it." - Douglas Yates

"A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy." - Unknown {Men and Women}

"Before you find your handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of frogs." - Unknown

"Contention is better than loneliness." - Unknown

"Hatred is toxic waste in the river of life." - Unknown

"Hearts are often broken when words are unspoken." - Unknown

"Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her." - Unknown

"I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now." - Unknown {Vice and Virtue}

"If there is anything better than being loved, it's loving." - Unknown

"If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater." - Unknown

"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell." - Unknown

"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." - Unknown

"Love will make you forget time, and time will make you forget love." - Unknown

"Love your neighbors, but don't pull down the fence." - Unknown (Chinese proverb)

"Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it." - Unknown

"Marriage is not a word -- it is a sentence." - Unknown

"One does not make friends, one recognizes them." - Unknown

"She's the kind of woman you could fall madly in bed with." - Unknown

"The gods gave man fire and he invented fire engines. They gave him love and he invented marriage." - Unknown

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is love their mother." - Unknown

"The surest sign that a man is in love is when he divorces his wife." - Unknown

"There are two sides to every divorce: yours and the shithead's." - Unknown

"Dying is the science of eternal relaxation." - rv

"Everybody's strange; I'm normal." - rv

"Only after leaping off a cliff, do you realize you can't fly." - rv

"In a race against time, cheating is the only solution." - particle

"I didn't cheat, I only copied the answer." - rv

"What is bad without good?" - rv & particle

"What is positive without negative?" - rv & particle

"What is wrong without right?" - rv & particle

"If we cannot define good without defining bad, then being bad is good." - particle

"I was wrong to prove that you were right." - rv

"Satan is the prove that God is good." - rv

"If god is everything, and everything includes bad, then god is bad." - particle

"If god is bad, then bad is good." - rv

"The bad highlights the good." - rv

"I'm late because you're early." - rv

"Supervision is the key to all screw-ups." - particle

"Most management is lazy & incompentent." - particle

"Money cannot buy love, but it surely can influence it." - rv

"Your poverty highlights my riches." - rv

"I hate the fat but I love the food." - rv

"I have a whole cubicle to myself!" - particle

"Do you believe in first love - or should I pass by again?" - anonymous

"Working for fun is good, working for money is better." - particle

"There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love." - Unknown

"True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes." - Unknown

"When falling in love, some lose their head, others lose their heart." - Unknown

"Often the best way to win is to forget to keep score."

"The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists."

"The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people."

"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."

"C combines the power of assembler with the portability of assembler." -Anonymous

"The C language is particularly rich with ways of writing a program that totally hide the original design intent." - Stanley Chow

"C++ has not lost touch with C's primary virtues." - Bjarne Stroustrup

"If I only had a little humility, I would be perfect."

"Experience is the name everyone gives his mistakes."

"I dont want the world. I just want your part."

"Reality is an illusion caused by an absence of beer."

"My mind is empty but my bowels are full."

"There is no problem in this world so intractable or complicated that it cannot be solved by killing anyone even remotely connected to it."

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, and violence... but they've always worked for me."

"An armed society is a polite society."

"There is no such thing as excessive violence."

"Don't think of it as being vastly outnumbered. Think of it as having a very wide shot selection."

"There is a certain freedom in being totally screwed. It means that nothing you do is going to make it any worse."

"That which doesn't kill me... had better be able to run away damn fast."

"Do unto others as they would do to you... And do it first."

"Good intentions are no substitute for a running chainsaw."

"Being brave is good. Being smart is better, and usually a lot less painful."

"It is a physical impossibility to carry too much ammo."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."

"If brute force doesn't work, you're not using enough brute force."

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."

"Serendipity is looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering the Farmer's Daughter."

"Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal."

"Why don't you buy a self help book? Make people feel less like hitting you with a brick."

"Space isn’t remote at all. It’s only an hour’s drive away if your car could go straight upwards."

"Today is a week of stupidness"

"He's an unsociable bastard right now... the acid hasn't kicked in."

"Grab your pick, grab your shovel and head on down to the Amish rumble."

"Reality, no matter how utopian, seems to be something people need to frequently take a holiday from."

"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?"

"I used to think he was sensitive but then I found he was just spineless."

"Rocks taste like shit but they're easy to hunt."

"Some people confuse laziness with fear."

"I forgive my enemies, but I never forget their names."

"If you do not surrender, I shall be forced to shoot you through the head with a rather large bullet."

"You can't say civilizations don't advance . . . in every war they kill you in a new way."

"Patience is a virtue I haven't the time for."

"I converted a Christian 'Scientist' to evolution by pointing you out as the missing link."

"In times of horror and torment prayer is a great thing Nobody answers But at least it stops you from thinking."

"I left them to wallow in their own ineptitude."

"The truth is just an excuse for a lack of imagination"

"Old enough to know, but I'm too young to care."

"Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will."

"It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not."

"I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or gorillas. When this occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room."

"Its a Satanic, drug thing... You wouldn't understand."

"The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn't angry enough."

"If you die from using my equipment you get a full refund."

"A friend with weed is a friend indeed."

"You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind."

"Life is like Quake, only it's harder to find a rocket launcher when you really need one..."

"Try terrorism for hire. We'll blow some shit up, its more fun!"

"Anger is an energy."

"You're just jealous because the voices in my head don't talk to you."

"I conquer evil, Let evil know my name."

"Come forth ye wicked, know the curse of pain."

"My strength is hatred, anger and pain."

"They were few in number but by the look in their eye I could see that they would leave only in victory or death."

"I bring salvation, punishment and pain."

"Don't want enough left of me to scrape up."

"Since the dawn of time I've rode across the earth."

"Lets us celebrate the pain and havoc we have wrought."

"I will not rest until his blood is spilled, All his bones will be broken and his body scattered across the field."

"I stand while others fall."

"Hell is calling. It cannot be denied."

"Fly through the blackness of the storm."

"I have no fear of man or beast."

"Riding hard, breaking bone, with steel and stone."

"Stop sending money send'em all a bomb."

"Life is cheap when the bounty is high."

"Contact with alien races always renews one faith in humanity."

"It is my belief that travel narrows the mind wonderfully."

"For every battle honour a thousand heros die alone, unsung and unremembered."

"Wisdom is the begining of fear."

"Better cripled in body than corrupt in mind."

"Victory does not always go with the big guns but if we rest in front of them we shall be lost."

"Inspiration grows from the barrel of a gun."

"Blessed is the mind too small for doubt."

"A small mind is easily filled with faith."

"Hope is the beginning of unhappiness."

"The greatest man is but a ripple on the surface of existance."

"Peace is not in my vocabulary."

"Life is a prison; death shall be my release."

"Pain is an illusion of the body; fear an illusion of the mind."

"Pain and death are illusions of a weak mind."

"Without death, pain loses its relevance."

"You fight well because you treat war as a religion. We fight well because we treat war as a business."

"In life, only the insane have the strength to survive; Only those who survive truly judge what is sane."

"I think we should call the creation of the universe 'The HORRENDOUS SPACE KABLOOIE!'"

"Why were humans placed on this earth? To provide tigers with some important proteins."

"The secret of self esteem to lower your expectations to the point were they are already met."

"Most people have no ambition. Me, I'm going to wait right here so opportunity knows right where to find me."

"I'm going to donate all the snot I sneeze to hospitals for mucus transfusions."

"I let my mind wander and it didn't come back!"

"It's not denial. I'm just very selective about the reality I accept."

"I want to die. Well, no I don't, not really, I want everyone ELSE to die."

"I won't tell you what I'm having for lunch but I sure feel sorry for my tapeworm."

"Why bother wasting time learning when ignorance is instantaneous?"

"I pray for the strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't and the inability to tell the difference."

"I'd rather have a bottle infronta me than a frontal lobotomy."

"Nuke 'em till they glow."

"Nuke me slowly."

"1:We want to help you. 2:But what if I LIKE being a mindless psychopath?"

"My dumb mouth to your deaf ear."

"Peace through tyranny."

"Don't need god, Don't need love, just need a gutful o' Burboun and a headful o' sleep."

"Living in a 365 day 24 hour wartime reality."

"I've seen the future and I've left it all behind."

"I've become just what I wanted to be all along, a psychopathic poet, the devils bastard son."

"I have a dog. His name's Elvis. And when I give him a joint he speaks to me."

"Burning in water, Drowning in flames."

"Where in gods name is the chicken?"

"Memories of tommorrow."

"The darkness holds a power that cannot be found in the day."

"Jumping up and down on Satans little trampoline."

"You know, sometimes I think that getting my balls blown off was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"1: You sleeping? 2: No, just dead."

"Hands up who wants to die!"

"The essense of war is violence, Moderation in war is imbecility."

"Luck is always on the side of big battalions."

"I'm too fat to go chasing you around, I'll just blast some holes in you."

"A good soldier should kill something every day."

"Boys and Girls come out to play on the busy motorway."

"Friendly fire isn't."

"Friendly like a hand grenade."

"The mind is a terrible thing to taste."

"Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser."

"Kill them all. Let God sort it out."

"In the war between good and evil, evil has more fun!"

"No man is wise enough or good enough to be trusted with unlimited power."

"Never fire a weapon if you can't understand the instructions."

"He's got a face even a mother could hate."

"What's blood for if not to spill?"

"1:You just shot an unarmed man! 2:Well he should have armed himself."

"I wanna embalm your body in sulphuric acid."

"1: You've only got one arm why do you have three pistols? 2: I don't wanna get killed for lack of shooting back."

"Its lonely here, there's no one left to torture."

"Should I listen to the voices in my head?"

"Chewing on glass and walking on splinters."

"Happiness is causing misery."

"I hope I die in a freakish way, by an act of sheer stupidity."

"It doesn't matter, I'll probably get hit by a car anyway."

"I think I'll watch the dot for a few more hours."

"He's a walking example of death after life."

"Humour lies in other peoples misfortunes."

"Got up close, saw the tyre tracks on her head, thats when I realised, she was dead."

"Eliminate all rational thought."

"Fear is your greatest weapon and your worst enemy."

"He uses words, as weapons, to hit people over the head with."

"Hate is so much easier to feel than love."

"Nothing lasts forever...so why not destroy it now?"

"Feeling stupid? Then put a gun to your head and blow away those cobwebs."

"It's better the kill the animal before you eat it, Otherwise it tends to scream when you bite into it."

"Connect the goddamn dots!"

"I've gone to great lengths to expand my threshhold of pain."

"DISCLAIMER: My opinions are my own and no one elses (but I can recommend 'em!)"

"Stupid people shouldn't breed."

"Tell your parent's to use contraceptives."

"He'll make you wish that you didn't exist."

"Born into this world: I never asked for this."

"If Mary had've had an abortion would we now worship a coathanger instead of a cross?"

"I have no fear for my sanity, My fear is what will happen to those around me when my sanity snaps."

"Confusion is a fundamental state of mind."

"Sanity is a fulltime job and I just got the sack."

"WARNING: Reality.SYS corrupted. Reboot universe? Y/N"

"A first principal for success is the constant and frequent use of violence."

"1: Are you trying to make a fool of me? 2: No. Natures already done that. I'm just giving you an audience."

"Eat any good books lately?"

"I might not know where I'm going but damned if I'm gonna get there late."

"Ignorance is bliss."

"If ignorance is bliss just try to wipe the smile from my face."

"Killing animals for science is wrong, I think we should do it for fun."

"I'm not afraid of life. I just don't know where it is anymore."

"Die screaming with sharp things in your head."

"Sanity is only for people who can't bounce a reality check."

"Laugh when others fear Hate when others laugh."

"The sight of a laser dot can have a strong psychological impact on the target."

"The opinions expressed here are mine and may not reflect reality."

"If you can't make someone happy, make them chocolate fudge cake."

"Some people are merely alive because it is against the law to kill them."

"Don't shoot 'til you see the backs of their heads!"

"I'm the one your Bible warned you about."

"Physics and Law enforcement - if it weren't for those two, I'd be unstoppable."

"My present aim and ambition is to kill every single human being on the face of this planet."

"Reality is very powerful illusion and if we are not careful we may find ourselves drawn in by it."

"The voices in my head say I should go see a shrink but I don't believe them."

"I'd see a shrink but they're too expensive So I'll just talk to myself."

"How can I know you? I don't even know myself."

"Didn't we meet in Monty Carlo the night you blew your brains out? Oh, how we laughed. Ha ha ha."

"Words are sharper than swords, but I like the blood."

"You know I've only got one friend And his name is Alcohol."

"1: What're we gonna do tonight, Brain?" 2: The same thing we do every night, Pinky -try to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"

"Our reason for existing is unclear at this moment, please try again at a a later time. - The Bible, updated version"

"The main thing we learn from our mistakes is that we make a lot of them."

"If the defendant will comply with the court, we'll reduce the hit-and-run charges to littering."

"We would have thought it was an accidental shooting if the defendant hadn't stopped to change clips....TWICE!"

"Gil: He's not gonna talk. We're gonna have to kill him. Mike: Maybe we should take the gag off, Gil."

"He's so sold on himself he probably thinks someone should bottle his piss and sell it as perfume."

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear. And the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown."

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept those things I cannot change, the courage to change those things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off."

"Hey, space is a tough place where wimps eat flaming plasma death."

"I never thought it would be easy but no-one said it would be THIS hard."

"Its only funny till someone gets hurt Then its absolutely hilarious."

"I really believe the things I say to you, It's just that none of them are true."

"Opening your mouth does create a space that your foot can fill all too easily."

"The only time suppresive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions."

"If the gods are watching, the very least we can do is be entertaining."

"Never attribute to malace that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

"Friends may come, and Friends may go, but Enemies accumulate."

"Just because you are paranoid, does not mean that they are not out to get you."

"Old age and treachery will overcome youth and enthusiasm every single time."

"Health is merely the slowest possible speed at which you can die."

"He who stands on toilet is high on pot."

"He who paints toilet is a shithouse painter."

"Life is like trying to perform a violin concert while still learning to play."

"Bad news sells."

"The only thing that makes me smile is ... Your pain. To say Im not enjoying this would be insane."

"Punch drunk but Im still sober."

"Adrenaline. A legal drug."

"Do you know your insane? Maybe your just sitting around reading guns & ammo, masterbating in your own feces. Do you just stop and go 'Wow, it is amazing how fucking crazy I really am.'" - Brad Pitt, in the movie Se7en

"Do loonies such as yourself know you're crazy? Do you sit there reading 'Guns and Ammo', masterbating into your own feces and then suddenly you stop and and it strikes you 'I AM a crazy son of a bitch'" - Variation of what Brad Pitt says in the movie Se7en

"Life is nothing more than just a way of passing the time."

"Everybodies equal... just don't mention it."

"I nearly drowned while channel surfing."

"A nation . . . is just a society for hating foreigners."

"A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way."

"A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between."

"Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well."

"Any smoothly functioning technology will have the appearance of magic."

"Any time you have influence, try ordering around someone else's dog."

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking."

"Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth."

"Death meant little to me. It was the last joke in a series of bad jokes."

"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."

"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."

"He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder."

"I always say that, next to a battle lost, the greatest misery is a battle gained."

"I am not sincere, even when I say I am not."

"I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty."

"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them."

"I don't have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem."

"I don't necessarily agree with everything I say."

"I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead."

"I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!"

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception."

"I once played a sheriff who thought he could do the job without a gun. I was dead in twenty-seven minutes of a thirty minute show."

"I predict that exact reproduction through cloning will not become popular. Too many people already find it difficult to live with themselves."

"I prefer the errors of enthusiasm to the indifference of wisdom."

"I use not only all the brains I have, but all I can borrow."

"I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member."

"I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way."

"I've been trying for some time to develop a life style that doesn't require my presence."

"I've gone into hundreds of fortune-tellers' parlors, and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her."

"I've never met a healthy person who worried much about his health or a good person who worried much about his soul."

"If God lived on earth, people would knock out all his windows."

"If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive."

"If you cannot convince them, confuse them."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog and a man."

"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."

"Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars."

"It is bad luck to be superstitious."

"Programming is the exact science of driving a person insane. (gotta love it)"

"It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious." - anonymous

"It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off." - Woody Allen

"It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself." - Salvador Dali

"It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them." - Pierre Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais, French author-dramatist

"It is not what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable." - Moliere

"It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of leading causes of statistics." - Fletcher Knebel

"It is odd, is it not, that a person's worth to society is measured by wealth, when instead wealth should be measured by worth to society." - Pierce Thorne

"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." - Steven Wright

"It's not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line." - Ashleigh Brilliant

"Justice is incidental to law and order." - J. Edgar Hoover

"Less than fifteen per cent of the people do any original thinking on any subject.... The greatest torture in the world for most people is to think." - Luther Burbank, American horticulturist (1849-1926)

"Logic is a system whereby one may go wrong with confidence." - Charles Kettering

"Love your neighbors, but don't pull down the fence." - Chinese proverb

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell." - Aldous Huxley

"My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot." - Ashleigh Brilliant

"My notion of a wife at forty is that a man should be able to change her, like a bank note, for two twenties." - Douglas Jerrold

"My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind." - Albert Einstein

"Nothing so needs reforming as other peoples' habits." - Mark Twain

"One way to prevent conversation from being boring is to say the wrong thing." - Frank Sheed

"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"People who feel well are sick people neglecting themselves." - Jules Romains

"People who never get carried away should be." - Malcolm S. Forbes, American publisher.

"Probably all laws are useless; for good men do not want laws at all, and bad men are made no better by them." - Demonax (c 150 A.D.)

"Rainbows apologize for angry skies." - Sylvia A. Viorol

"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance." - Confucius

"Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time." - Sir J. Lubbock

"Serendipity is looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering the Farmer's Daughter." - Julius H. Comroe.

"Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal." - Albert Einstein

"Tell the truth and run." - Yugoslav proverb

"The flush toilet is the basis of western civilization." - Alan Coult

"The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only more expensive." - John Sladek

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." - Lily Tomlin

"The world holds two classes of men--intelligent men without religion, and religious men without intelligence." - Abu'l-Ala-Al-Ma'arri, Syrian Poet (973-1057)

"The world stands aside to let anyone pass who knows where he is going." - David Starr Jordan

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line." - Oscar Levant

"There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house." - Joe Ryan

"This world is comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel." - Horace Walpole

"Too much of a good thing is wonderful." - Mae West.

"Truth has a way of shifting under pressure." - Curtis Bok, U. S. federal judge (1897-1962)

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." - Oscar Wilde

"I'm face down in the gutter, but I'm in a pool of piss so at least I can see the reflections of the stars."

"We are continually faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems." - John W. Gardner

"We are what we pretend to be." - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

"We didn't inherit the land from our fathers. We are borrowing it from our children." - Amish belief

"We don't look for truths, just excuses." - Pierce Thorne

"We have all passed a lot of water since then." - Samuel Goldwyn

"You can't say civilizations don't advance . . . in every war they kill you in a new way." - Will Rogers

"You simply cannot understand psychedelic drugs, which activate the brain, unless you understand something about computers." - Dr Timothy Leary

"You've no idea of what a poor opinion I have of myself, and how little I deserve it." - W.S. Gilbert

"Bring me a sane man and I shall cure him." - Carl Jung

"Patience is a virtue I haven't the time for."

"A radioactive cat has 18 half-lives."

" ...random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty."

"1 + 2 = 3. Therefore 4 + 5 = 6."

"186,000 miles/sec: Not just a good idea, it's the LAW."

"2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."

"29A, the hexadecimal of the Beast."

"A crucifix? Oy vey, have you got the wrong vampire!"

"A cult is any religion without political power."

"A cynic smells flowers and looks for a casket."

"A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts."

"A dyslexic agnostic doesn't believe in Dog."

"A kiss is a pleasant reminder that two heads are better than one."

"I converted a Christian 'Scientist' to evolution by pointing you out as the missing link."

"Get lost. If I want any shit I'll just squeeze your head." - Gumshoe

"The Earth is full of beautiful women, And those that arn't... have wonderful personalities." - Third Rock from the Sun.

"I dont want the world I just want your part." -TMBG

"If we knew what we were doing we wouldn't be research." - Illuminati card

"That which doesn't kill me had better be able to run away damn fast." - a sig

"I have to love humankind To kill them all would take too fucking long." - Pantera

"It's enlightening to see what a narrow trickle the mainstream really is."

"If women ruled the world, would missiles be shaped differently???" - Some Unknown Comedian

"The truth is just an excuse for a lack of imagination." - Garak, ST-DS9

"Old enough to know, but I'm too young to care."

"The dumb is always righter than the smart because there's more of us!" - Ken Kesey, Sailor Song

"Do unto others as they would do to you... And do it first." - CP2020

"Do unto others... And then loot the bodies." - CP2020

"In times of horror and torment prayer is a great thing Nobody answers But at least it stops you from thinking." - George MacDonald Fraser, Flashman

"I left them to wallow in their own ineptitude." - My Aunt Judy Gibbs

"Crime pays when pigs die." - Some punk band

"A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room." - Ellen

"If you burp and fart at the same time could it create a vacuum in your middle and make you implode?"

"I wanna ban greenpeace cos they're trying to save the bloody planet that hit me on the head last time I came home from the pub." - Bandicoot, Osso Booko

"I used to think he was sensitive but then I found he was just spineless." - Cybill

"Rocks taste like shit but they're easy to hunt." - The Gravys

"Some people confuse laziness with fear." - Spermbirds

"If you wanna touch the sky you gotta be prepared to die." - Butthole Surfers

"I forgive my enemies, but I never forget their names."

"If you do not surrender, I shall be forced to shoot you through the head with a rather large bullet." - Peter O'Toole, "Club Paradise"

"Express the psychedelic with the cybernetic. Turn on, tune in and boot up." - Dr Timothy Leary

"The value of an idea has nothing to do with the sincerity of the man who expresses it. Indeed the probabilities are that the more insincere the man is, the more purely intellectual will the idea be, as in that case it will not be coloured by either his wants, his desires or his prejudices." - Oscar Wilde

"Today is a week of stupidness."

"I was soooo wasted. I had such dry mouth I was spitting chalk."

"Quick! Take their weapons while they're wet and stupid." - James Belushi, Sahara

"Reality, no matter how utopian, seems to be something people need to frequently take a holiday from." - Aldous Huxley

"I don't panic because I just don't care."

"He uses love for sex, she uses sex for love." - Shelter

"He's an unsociable bastard right now... the acid hasn't kicked in." - Prodigy

"Grab your pick, grab your shovel and head on down to the Amish rumble." - Strapping Young Lad

"I have come to the conclusion that my subjective account of my own motivation is largely mythical on almost all occasions. I don't know why I do things." - J.B.S. Haldane

"I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all." - Malachi Constant (Sirens of Titan, by Kurt Vonnegut)

"Curiosity will conquer fear even more than bravery will." - James Stephens

"They can because they think they can." - Virgil

"What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Conform and be dull." - James Frank Dobie

"I was never less alone than when by myself." - Edward Gibbon

"It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not." - Andre Gide

"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain.

"The absent are never without fault, nor the present without excuse." - Benjamin Franklin

"Nothing is so firmly believed as that which we least know." - Michel de Montaigne

"The mountain screamed three times today. I guess it thought I'd like to play." - Monster Magnet

"I'm drinking soup! Would you mind not trying to make me work!"

"If you're not a rebel by the time you're 20 you have no Heart. If you're not establishment by the time you're 30 you have no Brain." - Swimming with Sharks

"Why don't you buy a self help book? Make people feel less like hitting you with a brick." - NYPD Blue.

© 1996-2024 by End of the World Production, LLC.